... I would definitely suggest professional help. It is unlikely that someone that is afraid of themself can form a healthy relationship. I look in the mirror too often and wonder if I'm doing well with that myself.

I don't see the need to "defend" or "protect" my submissive. I don't have anything to defend or protect her against. As far as our relationship is concerned, we trust each other, care for each other and try to communicate with each other about things as well as we can.

You are still a person, first and foremost, and a submissive second. If you cannot take care of yourself, then you probably aren't going to be satisfied with someone that takes care of you for you. If you are, it might be for the wrong reasons.

Too frequently submissives come from abusive relationships, families or previous marriages. Most submissives suffer from low self-esteem. Most submissives suffer from a persecution complex. In other words, they are used to being abused, rather than cared for, they don't think much of themselves, so they don't see how anyone else can either, and they feel like they have to be belittled and degraded to feel what they think is love. It's just because of the patterns in their lives and how they respond emotionally to different sets of circumstances and situations.

Sorry for the rant. I don't mean to lecture you. I am happy you have a happy relationship. I just like to make sure that when I see words used like "defenses" and "self-destructive" that the person really does know what they're doing.