Thanks Timber and lily. I know Rabbit is right too. My heart is sick with grief at what I did and I don't expect anyone to forgive me or trust me again.

I think my time is pretty much over here, and no amount of apologising or publicly humiliating myself will make things right. Your PM said it rather succinctly Timber and you are right in everything you have said.

I can barely type this as is such is the way I feel. Think I'll just find a hole and disappear and for what its worth, again I'm sorry.

"Don't it always seem to go that you don't know what you got till it's gone. Pave paradise and put up a parking lot."