~mishka,
When I read your words I couldn’t help but cry. It reminded me so much of the pain I lived with for so many years. I wish I had magic words to make it all better but I don’t. For me it became about s3elf survival. Years for living like that was making me die inside. I was shutting down emotionally and physically and I made the decision to move on and live. All I know is you can’t make someone love you the way you need to be loved. Either he will listen to you and decide that he cares enough to make you a priority in his life or he will decide to stay the way he is.

I would suggest marriage consulting. Unfortunately too many years had passed for us and my ex didn’t want to do it unless I promised to stay. I don’t make promises like that. I was all ready feeling trapped and when he said that I knew he wouldn’t change.

My heart goes out to you both but I am concerned about his anger and violence. That is a very bad sigh. He needs help so he can express himself appropriately and before he escalates to more than just the wall.

Be safe and take care of yourself.

Jade