One other thing: Concrete Sensual Detail.Originally Posted by lapog
These are the little things that bring a scene alive, that make it vivid and make the reader feel that he's there experiencing it with you.
Concrete means that it should be real. Don't keep on telling us what they feel or think. Show us them acting in a way that expresses their inner state, and let us figure out whether they're scared or excited or in the throes of orgasm.
Sensual meaning "of the senses". It should be something the character sees or hears or feels or smells. It should be something we can sense ourselves in our imaginations, described in a way that lets us experience it too.
Detail means the little things that show you were there, if only in your imagination. Too many sex scenes end up being shopping lists of what they did. "He grabbed her breast and then he twisted it. He slid his hand lower and spanked her shapely ass. She moaned and twisted in the chains..." The detail is the way the cloth of her blouse was crushed beneath his fingers, the way the top button popped open, the feel of her flesh when he slaps her bottom, the way she spreads her fingers and then clenches them into fists.
The best sex scenes have enough concrete sensual detail to pull the reader in and force him to visulaize the scene. Very often the sexiest part of a scene will be something that seems inconsequential: the sound of the headboard banging against the wall, the way she licks her dry lips, the sound of her high heels on a wooden floor. That's what maes a scene vivid and lets us see it.
---dr.M.