<<Perhaps I am worried, somewhere deep in myself, that if I allow too much pain to be inflicted on me, that that person will not stop when I need them to.>>

I can understand this, but in the opposite way. I think I was reluctant to inflict pain on anyone in case I got carried away and couldn't stop. However, after all this time, I think I am ready to believe that I won't 'snap', and really hurt someone. Although if I am angry (rarely), I will not punish her then, I have to walk away and come back later.

I'm not having too much luck with the Banff idea; seems no-one really wants to go there in the winter. A lot of her work is at sales conferences; you know, when a company takes a group of it's top salesmen somewhere nice, and rewards them for a job well done, and gets them motivated to do even better next year! With the Cdn $ being so terrible against the US $, more companies are doing this at home, but not so much in the winter. But I'll keep trying - just for Jasper instead!