It is a good question indeed.

Let's see. What do I want from my dominant? Hard question to answer really. I basically want someone that can treat me as a submissive, but not as a doormat or a piece of meat. I want him to be able to push my limits, but be ready to stop if I am having too much trouble. (which he does) Also, someone who can "beat me" but not BEAT me... someone that recognizes discipline from abuse (which he does)

Also, I want someone who will be patient with me but still remind me of what I am supposed to be working towards. For example, I am not what you would call a "sexual person". I never initiate sexual contact. I just don't think about it. Perhaps it is because I have been rejected by men so much that I fear even rejection from him, even though I know it is silly. But I am getting better at it. I have initiated it a few times in the past while.

It's kind of odd, though. I feel more submissive in having to start sexual contact than if I am just taken spontaneously. Don't ask me why, I know nothing of psychology. It is just a strange fact.

Heck, I never would have talked about this sort of thing in public 6 months ago, so I guess I am making progress.



Having said this, what isn't your sub doing? She's said she's having a hard time getting back into it - does that mean she won't get you coffee when you ask <grin>?
To be honest, yes. I do admit to having a bit of a problem getting back into it. Not for lack of wanting, but as he said, it has a lot to do with time and timing. I do get him his coffee when he asks (most times without grumbling lol) but we are progressing slowly. When I was in Texas and didn't have to work and was home all day with nothing to worry about, it was easy, but now it is hard. I have a job that has a fair amount of responsibility (not that it will get me anywhere) and I am always having to give people hell for things they did wrong, then I come home and it's hard to switch roles.

Perhaps that is why we have considered looking for a female dominant to help getting me back into the swing of things. They usually have a different way of looking at things and approaching them. But we have yet to actually get that far.

(sorry my post is so long. I get overly verbose sometimes.)