Quote Originally Posted by Rabbit1 View Post
well I do not know about others relationships but romance plays a big part in mine ---I am involved with my sub in a romantic relationship as well as a Dom/sub.

Thats what a lot of newbies do not understand the BDSM lifestyle -is not all whips and chains 24/7

So absolutely agree, Rabbit1, the D/s side of it enhances the power of the emotions and makes the love all the more complete, reach a deeper trust and knowledge of one another.

I think there is a very enthusiastic (yes, principally female sub) market for BDSM-oriented romance novels. It strikes me that BDSM feelings/desires are a lot more prevalent and mainstream than most people are willing to accept outloud; in fact I think that's one of the principle differences between people involved in the lifestyle and those not: the willingness to admit it and dive into it. For others - it remains that secret naughtiness, the unspoken desire, and that is what makes BDSM oriented romance just such a turn on for so many. I mean all the bog standard romance novels have heaving bosoms, preferably a bit of corsetting permitted by being in a historic setting, strong arms enfolding, melting into them, do anything for them... classic stuff.

More on the theory that BDSM is widespread but just not admitted out loud - there is a very popular restaurant in London called School Dinners, run by a Headmaster and Headmistress, wearing mortar & cape & wielding canes, all the waitresses (no waiters, I think) wearing short-skirted school-uniforms, stockings etc., where punters can pay to get whacked by a cane-wielding naughty girl of their choice or vice-versa. Sure, not very hard whacks... but how mainstream-but-let's-not-call-it-SM is that?