<<But in reality I would not hurt a flee>>

That was me, too. I couldn't believe that anyone could like hurting anyone else. When I was growing up, I had a younger brother with a lot of anger in him, and a perfectionist mother. Needless to say, it was like mixing oil and fire! I hated it so much, that I would hide in a closet, covering my ears, so I didn't have to listen to it. I think I could say I feel too much, and anyone's pain affects me.

My sub, Sylvie (she's around here somewhere) is exactly the opposite on this point. She has grown a very hard crust over her emotions; she has trained herself to be a hardass with no feelings. That's what the pain does for her, it makes her feel. We had to start out very slowly in this field; the first time I spanked her, I cried a lot more than she ever would!

It's really weird, I think, that I was trianed to be a dom by my sub, but we've never worried about fitting into other people's pigeonholes. Because we have been pretty isolated in our bdsm, we have evolved in a way that suits us.

I don't think I completely took over the reins of being a dom until the day I saw this powerful chained woman kneeling at my feet, sobbing in thankfulness because I had paddled her to an orgasm.

I must admit, the power I have over her is a huge turn on for me; whenever I find a woman that appeals to me, she is usually a strong woman. This doesn't mean she is a big-shot out in the world, although that sometimes does seem to be the case), but rather that she is opinionated and speaks her mind. That, along with the submissive side she reveals only to me, is a turn-on. I guess in a way I would have to say the dom in me now is a letting out of the 'wouldn't-hurt-a-flea' part that I have in my vanilla life. Maybe in some way I'm striking back at my childhood? I'm sure a shrink could have a field day with that one!

I do have to say that no other woman has ever made me lust after them the way I do after Sylvie. I don't even consider myself bi sexual, although many would. I must admit though, being attracted to a nice butt that I could warm up to a nice shade of red <sigh>.