he dom should make it completely clear that he or she will not be let down by the sub using a safeword; the sub isn't a mind-reader, either.
Phan - I agree with you, this is why safe words are negotiated prior to play. I was a participant to a rather lively munch once where the Dominant who was speaking was talking about scenes where they were going to get the submisive to say the safe word. The submissives in the room stated that even though they know its ok to utter this, they feel a sense of failure to both the Dom and themselves for not being able to endure the activity they were submitting to. It wasn't a matter of being able to read minds, just a matter of pride for them.

Again, this was just in a discussion at a munch, and several points of view were given.

This thread is a great discussion!

V/R
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