Quote Originally Posted by Ozme52
I have to agree. It's one thing to say, we're going to find and test your limits. It's another thing to do so without foreknowledge on the sub's part that this is the purpose of the play.

To "teach" a sub that it's okay to use a safeword merely "by example" is, I believe, over the top.

Too many subs are totally invested in their dom's happiness and will suffer in silence far beyond the limits of their own pleasure. The purpose of D/s play, or at least my purpose, is mutual pleasure. If it's not mutual, then why bother searching for a compatible sub/dom?
Oz, you said exactly what I was trying to say in a much more eloquent manner. I agree that finding and testing limits is reasonable, but shouldn't the sub know that's the point? Isn't that where the "consensual" part of SSC comes in? I guess the point that I was trying to make in my first post was that the sub should already know that it's OK to use the safeword, and that pushing them past their limits "just because" is a little.... harsh? Unreasonable? Dishonest? The right word escapes me... Maybe I sort of feel like it is a problem with the dom if the sub feels otherwise, because the dom should make it completely clear that he or she will not be let down by the sub using a safeword; the sub isn't a mind-reader, either. Hmmm..... an interesting argument.
-Phan