Am I the only one?

[sirsw]

I've enjoyed the posts here. Seems like a variety of experiences and life style leanings. I myself am a Dom and have been in or on the edge of the D/s lifestyle for about 17 years. Have been active with a submisive partner for the past 4 years. I agree with others that it can be difficult to define yourself as one or the other (dom or sub), especially when you start out.
I think that D/s is actually a circular experience, as oposed to a linear one. We all have qualities of both inside us though we tend to gravitate toward one as our core. This core, what a past submissive of mine called your soul, is really what we seek to discover on our journey in BDSM. This sub of mine told me she believed that women tend to discover their submissive soul at age 30 and that men discover their Dominant soul at age 40. No actual research to support this, but I do believe it is fairly accurate (based on purely annecdotal info from others in the lifestyle).
As I said, I know I have a Dominant soul, but I do have parts of me that are submissive and a need to explore these from time to time. My sub and I don't make the mistake of trying to make her Dominate me. She is a sub and to have her do that would create all kinds of emotional turmoil (though as a sub if I asked her to, she would). But I have learned that a Dominant has a responsibility to protect and support the sub that is committed to them. So I don't ask her to do things I know would create emotional turmoil. So if I need to feed my submissive urges I tend to play with a FemDom friend of mine. We are good friends first and Dom/sub second. This makes it easier for us both to get what we need from our play (I worried in the beginning I would be topping from the bototm, but she has made sure I don't). Also, since we are friends we both look out for the welfare of each other. All in all a good experience without all the baggage of a full blown relationship.
Whoa, this got a bit longer than I meant it to. So I'll leave it here and see if others would like to comment. Then I can always reply back.