Originally posted by LostOne
Why it turned out that I could not cum at all could be a couple of things. One reason is tough to think about, even after all this time but I think someone may learn something from it. Anyway, one time, he accused me of cumming and I didn't. I swore and promised I wasn't lying. I was at his feet begging and crying for him to believe me but he wouldn't. Consiquently I was punished for cumming without permission and lying about it. I swear to you all that I did not cum. I was just enjoying the attention so much that day my reaction was similar to an orgasm.

Another reason may be him not letting me cum for maybe 3 weeks give or take a few days. I would beg and he would say "no" but continue to stimulate me so it may have conditioned me (in some Pavlov way) not to cum. Well, after that long I stopped begging. Not out of spite or anything but because I just started to believe if he wanted me to cum he would say so and my begging was just wrong.
Hi again,

In terms of your first point (being punished for cumming even tho you hadn't) - sorry, but that's just plain wrong...you don't need to swear to us that you didn't cum, you told HIM you didn't cum and that should have been enough unless he had catorgoric evidence to the contrary.

As for the second point.....when you say 'after that long i stopped begging' - i think this is possibly the key to what became a real problem....the point had almost gone out of it and your mind had become fully conditioned. i think also perhaps your dominant could/should have made more of an effort to make you aware of what he expected of you.....for instance, when you say (paraphrased) 'and i started to believe my begging was just plain wrong'....it all sounds a bit confused, did he want you to beg or not? Was it acceptable or not? These, in my view, are fairly crucial questions (certainly for the submissive anyway) in the whole orgasm control/deprivation issue. my dominant loves the begging element of it, but i only know this because he has told me so; yes, there are times when i try to give his ears a rest and not beg for a while (*grin*)...but generally speaking if i stopped begging for a sustained period, it would give him some indication that something was perhaps going slightly wrong.

Your idea about discussing the experience with any future dominant sounds like a good one to me.

lucy x