i guess i'm pretty slow to reply to this thread and what i've wanted to say has more or less been said by the other people who've replied.

i'm sorry to hear about the bad experiences you've had. but there's always a rainbow at the end of every storm. just gotta find it. i'm sure you'll find what you're seeking eventually. just hang in there and dont give up bad experiences dont break a person, they just make a person stronger if taken with the right attitude, which you appear to be attaining so be strong for yourself