Originally posted by Harold
These women do not wish to be dominated in aspects of their lives other than sex, are often embarrassed by their submissive feelings (and hence don't post much to this forum), and, I think, represent a majority of women with submissive feelings. They aren't "lifestylers", they just want to be tied up and spanked once in a while.
There is more to submission than being tied up and spanked every once in a while. Submission is largely about relinquishing control of an aspect of one's life to another person. The 'aspect' of their life, is part of their life, therefore part of their lifestyle or an integral part of their lifestyle.
A 'lifestyler' is just another categorical term, often utilised to distinguish and necessary in order to distinguish, but sometimes I find it can be baseless, in that there are people that make their decision based on whether someone is a 'lifestyler' or not, and if not they aren't 'really into it'. This is all relative.

Submission varies in it's intensity or it's dimensions, just like domination does. There is no 'full' cut and dry definitive scientific term that can be applied. Submission doesn't 'have to be 24/7', and the 24/7 factor doesn't mean that submission is more 'valid'. 24/7 is just a preference for some women and that's fine in itself.

As for the embarrassment factor, there is that, but it could also be another thing entirely. I myself, cannot relate to the 'servitude' aspect, in relation to domestic (not sexual) factors, mainly because in my culture that's the 'usual' done deal from the outset without it even being 'associated' with bdsm, women are 'to serve' - housework, meals ..everything related to domestic, so having seen that and experiencing that in my life, I don't find that erotic or appealing, it doesn't flick my switch personally because in my culture 'servitude' is 'the role' for a woman, it's 'expected', whether it makes another person happy or not, more often than not it relates to the 'sex role'.. can't explain it, but the closest I can get is by saying that the non sexual 'servititude' is one that is largely thankless, usually unnappreciated (as it's much like an 'occupation) in my culture (as it is for other similar cultures).


Kudos to you 'His Sweet Song' because it's never easy being a single parent and sometimes it may be even difficult still to incorporate a relationship when you have children. To want more is natural, but at the same time there isn't anything wrong with the part time aspect as well.
The bottom line is if it works and your relationship is opening up new pathways within you as well as your partner and your both evolving and walking the same journey, it's functional whether it's part time, or 'full' time.