I'm not passing judgement on anyone, although it does seem to me that if someone has to 'prove' that they really are carrying out tasks so that 'little white lies' don't become a problem, then there does seem to be a trust issue.

It seems to me, and only to me and only in my opinion, that if you have to have physical evidence that someone has completed a task, rather than just seeing the results of that task, then there's an issue of trust involved. And, hey, if it was her idea to use the cam and mic, then more power to her and you and I hope you both have a lovely time doing it.

I don't feel the need to have visual evidence of my tasks being done. I can simply assign a writing assignment or a reading assignment with a summary to be written and the written assignment is evidence enough that the task was completed. In my realtionships, though, I am likely to not give physical assignments anyway. The physical world is for meetings in face to face, again in my opinion.

Attribute our disagreement to differences of styles. The majority of my BDSM life is done in the mental realm, with tasks given and carried out and assignments given to be done before a deadline expires. The physical aspects of my BDSM life take a big backseat to the mental. If my relationship is online, then I'd rather read an activities questionnaire or read a written assignment or read a story that my submissive has to prepare than I would see the person to which I am talking put the nipple clamps on and leave them there until I say otherwise.

Granted, I have done that sort of thing before, and it's fun, but I still have not needed or wanted photographic or visual evidence that the task was completed. If it was, yay. If not, oh well. Between the two of us, we would each know how comitted to the relationship the other was. I trust her to do as she's told, if she violates that trust, it's on her shoulders and she has to deal with it. If she gives a shit about the relationship, she'll do what she's asked. If she doesn't, then she won't and it probably won't last anyway. Most of the bad ones don't.

So, no, I don't want to try it. I don't want it and don't need it. That's not to say that I'm going to tell you how to run your relationship, because I don't really care how anyone else runs their relationship. When it applies to me and my realtionship, I run them as I want them done.

I'm also not criticizing anyone for wanting to use webcams and other visual or auditory aides. Fine, do it. Have fun with it. However, if the statement comes up that they are being used to give testimony that the required tasks are being carried out, then, yeah, I have an opinion to insert. Honestly, jazz's wording is for her and WW to discuss and sort out. I responded to the nature of the statement, not to personally attack, but to advise if there was a potential problem.

My chosen handle here and other places is BDSM_Tourguide. I teach, I advise and I listen. That's what I like to do. I'm not so pretentious as to think I can tell someone how to handle their relationship. That's up to the parties therein.

Party on, dudes!



Legal disclaimer: All instances of the word "you" used in this statement have been to the general, second-person usage and not meant for individual means of singling out one or more parties in particular.