Hi Phenyx

I think that there's a very fine line between learning experiences, teaching control etc, and doing it just because it's a power trip and because you want your sub to beg just a little bit harder or it's cool to control people. My first (not really a) Dom did it as a power trip for himself and for punishment for every little issue he thought I had caused, and for any other reason he could think of, because he wasn't actually looking after me at all.

I can't say whether this is your task for a laudable or positive reason or not. I only know that with hindsight, it really wasn't that way for me and my relationship was really not a positive and supportive one. He's history now, although subjugating some other poor woman, no doubt.

These days it's all far more cerebral and nothing to do with punitive treatment. We've got to the age where if you do it right you don't need to do it quite so often, so being denied for a few days is a rest, not a challenge.