I posted this to "My BDSM Life" before I saw this forum. Oops...
Well hopefully now that I have it right I will get some help. Please?

Submitting to my lover...
I have a question. Maybe some of you can help me figure this out. I am very much a slave. There is a slave inside of me just dying to get out. However, I resist submitting and being a slave to my boyfriend.

I have sessioned with guys that I have met online and my obedience and submission surpassed many slaves that they had trained. I loved it, enjoyed it immensely but most times things ended because I could not do a 24/7 relationship.

Well now I have that chance with my boyfriend but I resist him in many ways. I basically top him from the bottom and I am not a very good sub to him, so suffice it to say, I am definitely not his slave.

A lot of it is that he LETS me top him from the bottom and he LETS me do so many things that I shouldn't.
He has never dommed before although he has always been aggressive in bed. He gives wonderful spankings but he will stop whipping me if I beg him to stop. I want him to just gag me and keep going, but he won't. (yes i have told him this).

Then there is the subject of him not knowing how to dom. I can always get out of his bondage and he focuses more on the physical than the psychological and emotional. I need all three for this to be fulfilling for me. I have begged him to study BDSM and speak with other Doms but he refuses.

I am a slave who needs to be trained but I am in love with a vanilla man. Yes this man tries to be a Dom but his "vanillaness" and lack of experience get in the way. I feel like I have tried everything. How do I turn this into a good BDSM Master/slave relationship?

I fear that because he is only trying the Dom thing for me that he is not really into it and that there really is no hope of having a fulfilling Master/slave relationship for either one of us.

Any suggestions?

julise