I agree with you tom.

Me being a Dominant is not a game. Me having a submissive is not a game. To me, having a Ds relationship isn't about the fantasy of hurting and tying up women. It's about the dynamic. It's about how I am treated by her, and how I treat her.

I have had this debate with more than one person. It stems from the SSC zealots. Not all BDSM falls into SSC. Some falls into RACK. Semantics you might say, but there is a difference between just Safe, and Risk Aware.