What is a slave, really?

[Tojo]

Honestly, why bother worrying about labels. If you and your Significant Other are pleased with your dynamic, it won't matter if you call each other Pookey and schnikle. If the two of you are not happy and getting your respective needs met, then you can use the 'proper' labels and it won't make you any happier.

Labels are for packages and pigeonholes are for pigeons. Neither should be applied to people.

*stepping off my soapbox now*

Yep, exactly- In all the years I've been wandering around kinky forums & talking to people, I've noticed that we worry far too much about what's what & who's who.

As sisterhoney pointed out, it can & often is taken to extremes.

Sure there's nothing wrong with seeing yourself as a slave/sub/someone's property or whatever, but IMO it makes sense to keep in the back of your mind that these are personal definitions. Some will agree & some won't.

Ultimately, all any D/s relationship is, is a consensual agreement between two people. Even that agreement can change from day to day.

What's important IMO, is to concentrate on your own relationship first & foremost- get that right & put the effort in before worrying about who & what you are.

D/s can be pretty darn amazing, but let's not forget it should be fun- not an agonising search to 'fit in' as the straight world can be.

[neitsyst2]

I've had quite a few conversations about this topic recently and I really appreciate the original post and the responses given. Because there are so many of us that are new to the lifestyle and learning it is interesting and challenging to have a glimpse into parts of the lifestyle that we have not, cannot yet, or may not earn the opportunity to experience. I am grateful for the time that you a/All put into the forums.

[denuseri]

well my owner and i seem to be in like total agrement with the thread delia,even the gorean part its especially nessesary to field this topic, we get asked all the time the differences between the three sub/slave/kajira etc, and labels as some would call them are sometimes nessesary to explain catagorical differences. (shrugs)

very big thankies for the wisdom of this thread

[Lady Hecate]

I found it very informative, especially as I am pretty new to this lifestyle

I do have one question though. I don't know if anyone else has asked this so I hope I am not being repetitive, but I still don't know what a Gorean slave really is. Can anyone shed some light on this?

[Kuskovian]

Thats a simple question Hecate, and you will find many complex answers in the Gor and largely Gorean lifestyle thread as well as the Gorean Agora social group here at this site. Basically Kajira is the Gorean word for slave.

[Lady Hecate]

Tojo and Dragon's Muse:

I can understand the point that both of you are making, but on the other hand, I seriously wish I had read these definitions on exactly what a Master/slave relationship is before I plunged headlong into posting my personal ad.


I posted an ad asking for a "Master" or "Mistress" and i was not even clear that there was a difference between a "Master/Mistress" and a "Dom/Domme"
Truthfully, I should have asked for a "Dom/Domme" but what's done is done.

My only point here is that knowing the exact definitions does have some usefulness at least sometimes.

[MissElizabeth87]

Language is too pliable. "Bird" You know exactly what I mean... certainly a horse is not a bird... nor is a snake... You know it has feathers, two legs and two wings. But birds lay eggs like (most) snakes. But birds are warm blooded like (most?) mammals. And what is a platypus?

I think trying to define and describe roles with single words will never entirely work within the lifestyle. The moment you do... the exceptions will overwhelm you.

I agree... Language just confuses things. My boy and I just call ourselves what it pleases us, damn the definitions.

Oh... and they've determined what a platypus is. Part bird, part reptile. The article I read called it the missing link everybody's been searching for. (Totally off topic, I know, but I just read the article and it amused me!)

[thepast]

Bumping, on request.

[kalitat]

Thank you for the breakdown of this valuable information.

[Guera]

I agree, thanks Delia.

Yet another definition to be muddled: owner. Its the best word I can come up with, because I would consider my him as my pet. I care for him and take responsibility for him, good and bad. I also own him, but not as a slave.