Love vs. Love

[Skyybird]

http://www.gocomics.com/loveis/2009/02/23/

There is a new one everyday....and so far I havent seen one that I dont agree with!

[orchidsoul]

This sure has turned out to be a provocative question indeed.

I deeply believe in love. And there's few things greater than loving deeply.

For me, love isn't even necessarily one of the three options. It's also a word I've used very infrequently when in a romantic relationship because of it's strength and meaning.

To me, love is a feeling, an emotion that of course is scientific. Our bodies and minds generally are, particularly when dealing with chemical reactions that cause emotion. It's also near impossible to fully convey love in words, but i'll do my best. It's when my heart feels filled with happiness because of him; when I want nothing more than to be physically in his arms; when I accept his flaws; when a simple entrance into the room causes me to smile; when I can't imagine my daily routine without him being involved; when there's emotion overwhelming enough to make me cry after sex; when I would rather be pained than have him feel pain; when I would sacrifice for him; when I see a future with him; when my heart feels lonely if he's away; when I'm inspired by him; when I want to excel because of his support; when lust, adoration, appreciation, respect, and care combine; and there's so much more. These are the signs I know I'm in love... and yes, it's the sort of honeymoon phase, if you will, that doesn't necessarily occur daily for the next 50 yrs, rather builds a foundation of strength allowing it to last for the next 50 years.

And if said love doesn't work out, I'll know it was love because my heart feels physically destructed and pained afterwards. It feels impossible to pick up the pieces and move on. And it takes a good long while to have room in my heart again.

Love is when my life alters because of a person. Whether it's including, or learning to not include any longer.

I also believe just because one love might be greater than the other, it does not diminish that love was involved. For instance, my first love at 17 was quite a different kind of love than my love at 26, but it was love none the less. My love for my family and friends is obviously different than for a romantic relationship. Nor do I believe that love always lasts forever, and sometimes it has nothing to do with desire to make it last, rather timing in life. I also don't believe that love conquers all... in my heart, I feel like it should, but the reality is it's not always enough.

I disagre with:

"If people do stay together after that it is out of habit, because its convenient, because its monetary sound policy, because they have been together for a long time and their lives are too entwined. Because they are afraid to be alone. And in lucky cases there is still affection."

My parents are very much in Love- there's a heck of a lot more than just affection. They are afraid to be alone because they can't imagine their lives without the other and not because it's habit, or convenient, or too entwined...rather because each of them wants the other in their lives, flaws included. Because their hearts would break in half if the other wasn't around. Because their evening conversation would be empty. Because their bed would be empty. Because their heart has grown with love deeper than they even knew possible I'm sure, as the years have passed on. Because their best friend, lover, spouse, co-parent would no longer be sharing the life they built together FOR eachother. And yes, I think what they have is quite special.

Though you do hit on the spot...is Love really an emotion. We all pretty much have the same and rather clear definition of what sadness, happiness and loneliness feels like and what they are. But "Love" is not a (singular) emotion its a conglomeration of other emotions.

We don't all have the same definition of any emotion, because we all feel them differently. Love, generally for most people, does encompass more emotions, but for someone battling depression sadness is far from clear and defined. In fact, it's quite a conglomeration of many emotions. All of our experiences in life, good and bad, are going to contribute to how we all individually react to various emotions.

I apologize for the diatribe... in short, I do believe greatly in love whether it's an emotion, feeling, scientific reaction, or a fantasy. Bring it on!

Long live love!

[ffion]

...But seriously, I think that while love and/or admiration has to flow both ways, if you can't verbalize it in any terms other than how he or she makes you feel, or that you love or admire him or her because they chose you... perhaps one is more infatuated than in love.

Or at least... that's my first thought... maybe I'll have something better later.

i quite like this explanation - a usable method of distinguishing these emotions.

[usbabe]

I really don't know if one can describe love in words ......actually. When i first met my late husband, i liked him but not overly so.......as time went on we had our issues but became closer. Then one day it just happened and all of a sudden......we were both exactly on the same plane, so to speak. It was like we were both in each others souls.......a knowing.......a trust.......a filling of each others voids. I know this must sound crazy but that is exactly how it happened and we both knew, we had to be together.....without a single doubt. Now i'm not saying there wasn't work involved but there is also work involved in my other love relationships, such as, my family, and my closest friends.....all of the most important relationships require work to keep them vibrant and close.
The other thing i do know......it has been over 10 yrs since "my love mate" passed and no I have not found another. So i guess for me......love is a deep, profound, meaningful journey, that is not easily replaced. And to describe it does not involve how i felt, how he made me feel, or any of his traits........it involved how it affected both of our souls. Is that corny or what? But true nontheless.

[JimmyJump]

I guess it all colmes down to the one, unanswerable question: "What is Love?"...

I fear that in certain, or even most situations, love is confused with lust. You can lust for someone, because of the pre-etched vision you have about how a certain person should behave and react.

Once you've encountered the person that behaves and reacts in the way you had envisaged, lust kicks in, because the mental picture you've made of your future partner, is a projection of that lust.

Now, of course, love can come from lust, when taking the time to look beyond your own mental picture and learn about the person.

Ofton though, the latter doesn't happen, because in a BDSM situation, the dom/master/whatever, is too keen on molding the sub, on perfecting the mental picture by using the sub as a human canvas, so to speak.

That is why so many BDSM relationships (and relationships in general) go all pearshaped after a wee while, because the 'hunter' doesn't want to know his 'victim'. The hunter just wants to live his fantasy and in the process drives off the newfound partner.

To answer the question [what I Love about my partner(s)]. At the moment nothing at all, cuz I'm single. But I would and will say: I love her because it's her. Because of who she is. Because of all the little imperfections, both physical and mental, that make her the person she is.

That's it really.


JJ