How do you deal with death?

[cattus9]

I'm so so sorry

Loosing someone is never easy, you just have to deal with it in the best way you can, good luck...

[Aradia]

I'm new here and I just saw this post and it caught my eye. I'm sorry to hear about what your going through.

I lost my dad 5yrs ago and it never gets any easier, the loss you feel will never go away,but the memories will last forever !

Please know that your in my thoughts.

[lucy]

It does get easier, at least for me. Not easy, but easier.

Take care, S. *hugs*

[skp2bear]

Mom passed away this morning. The mortuary has picked her up. now everyone is gone and darksreammaker says that it is right as no one really cares about or for me.

[SauvagePouline]

omg, i might misunderstand what he said, but people definitely care about and for you, and you should not think otherwise for even a moment. Take a moment and think of each friend, neighbor, coworker, etc who has said a kind word to you lately. And then think about aaaaaaaallllllllllll of us here that would be at your side if we could.

I am sending lots of love and prayers your way. And this is me giving you a big hug....

[leah06]

darksreammaker says that it is right as no one really cares about or for me.

WTF? We all care. I sent you an email but just want you to know that my thoughts are with you. Please be careful, especially now, with your heart. Many people care about you and your true Master is out there. Please give him time to find you.

[jeanne]

Please never believe no one cares. You feel alone - but you aren't. You are in many prayers, many hearts, many minds.

[TwistedTails]

I have been following your thread, and I am sorry for your loss. I don't know what that person was thinking when they said that to you. It is obvious to me that it simply is not true.

[dewran59]

I'm so sorry to hear for your loss. My thought and prayers are with you. *Big Hugss*

[skp2bear]

Today is the first full day without her. She's been gone less that 30 hours now. I still see her face as when I found her. I need to contact distant relatives and write the bulk of the newspaper obit today. But I just can't seem to stop crying.

[SauvagePouline]

I wish I could come give you a hug hun. My thoughts are still with you. I really can't give you any advice, but I want you to know I'm still thinking of you.

[skp2bear]

Mom's memorial service will be held at noon on her birthday, Friday, Dec. 19th at St. Pauls United Methodist Church in the chapel. This is in the museum district of Houston. Any who are able are most welcome to attend.

[Aradia]

Please know you & your family are in our thoughts.

[medusa]

I'm so sorry that it's all so hard for you right now skp2bear and that I was away from my computer and unable to post for the last couple of weeks. I've been away with my family, burying a close family member too.

Nothing can take away from the emptiness that you feel, but that doesn't mean that other people don't care for you, even when your grief makes you feel that there is nobody there for you.

Our funeral was last week and I didn't actually feel 'bereft' until a couple of days after the funeral as I was holding myself together to present the eulogy and be the strong one in the family for making sure that all of the practical things were taken care of like they should be. At least I had help in presenting the ceremony itself- I don't think that I could have got all the way through that without breaking down.

You can't grieve to schedule- take all the time that you need to work it through, but through it all remember that your mother loved you and would never have wished for you to be unhappy or to spend time not making the most of your life because of her. That's one reason that my whole family have gone to all of the social events in our calendars. Our loved one was fiercely proud of his family and would have been furious with us if he ever found out that we'd missed out on a potentially good experience because of him- that makes it a little easier to aim for happiness, even if we can't find it right now.

When I am able to be happy I'll do something lovely in his name and that will be the most appropriate way to mark his life. He was never happier than with his family doing great things together.

[skp2bear]

Tomorrow is the memorial service. There will be a bagpiper piping "Amazing Grace as we enter the chapel. Later the hospice chaplain will sing it during the service. As mom and I both love almost all people the service will have a Methodist and a baptist minister as well as a Catholic priest. All of them have played a role in our lives. Today I am making a picture collage of her life. I just hope the people doing the cremation quit calling me about my husband because I don't have one and I feel they don't care enough about us to keep their facts straight.

[claire]

Hang in there. Hopefully they are just trying to make sure they aren't leaving anyone out.

{{{{Hugs}}}

[Pearlgem]

Hang on in there, s. The bagpipes are highly evocative and I'm sure you'll weep lots when you hear "Amazing Grace' but maybe the tears will be good ones too, remembering your mother's life with gratitude and love. We're thinking of you, my darling, please don't forget that. Take good care of yourself.

lots and lots of love,

Pearlgem x x x x x x x

[jeanne]

It sounds like you've got a fitting end to a wonderful life.

I don't advocate yelling at people to get a point across - but this may be appropriate in the case of the cremation service people. If they call again about 'your husband', yell.

[skp2bear]

In just a little over 4 hours the service will begin. Very hard sleeping last night. Thanks for all the prayers and support you all have given me. You don't know how much it means to me.

[cadence]

I've been meaning to visit this thread, but I have neglected it.

I'm so sorry to hear that your mother has passed and I hope you are coping as best you can through all of this.

I'd offer you some comfort, but I have nothing for you at all. I suppose that all of the comforting words do not really help the suffering you feel.

[Oak]

Hi sweetie. I hope that you're getting better and that you'll come over your loss.
I know that I should have been there more for you. But even though both my parents died ages ago, I never lost anybody as close as you were to your mother. So I simply didn't know what to say or do. But I hope the best for you

[DarkPoet]

Dear skp2bear,

I just found this thread and I'm deeply sorry for your loss. Loosing a parent always is loosing a part of oneself, and I know from experience that there is little consolation in words. Don't try to bottle in your feelings, whether they be grief, anger, disbelief or anything else.

From the bottom of my heart, I wish you the ability to let go of the pain your loss created over time, and that you can grow on the experiences, especially the love and trust, you had with your mother. Know that you are loved by many people here and therefore never truely alone.

[skp2bear]

Its getting better little by little though I found my self crying a short time today while feeling lonely. All of you have been so very kind and good to me. Acouple of you have even called (Never had one much less 2 calls from overseas before. You don't realise how much you've meant to me deep in my heart. This sub feels like she belongs to all of you.

[Oak]

Its getting better little by little though I found my self crying a short time today while feeling lonely. All of you have been so very kind and good to me. Acouple of you have even called (Never had one much less 2 calls from overseas before. You don't realise how much you've meant to me deep in my heart. This sub feels like she belongs to all of you.

Glad to hear that you're starting to feel better. Even though this holiday season probably won't make things easier to you.
Lots of Christmas hugs and warm thoughts

[skp2bear]

Happy holidays to all of you.

[fourmaggie]

QUOTE=Diablo;742389]You embrace the fullness of her life, know she had joy and sorrow but grew as a person and lived a long life and celebrated in friends and family. you will honor her memory and as the pain and sorrow fades you will be able to think of her and smile no longer seeing only the sorrow.

I recently suddenly lost my grandmother, my grandfather suffered for 4 months in a hospital slowly dying before our eyes and 5 years ago we lost our 2yo son, if does seem like you will never be able to stop grieving but it will run its course.

It took me 3 years before certain songs wouldn't make me cry thinking of our son or be able to talk about him remembering him for all his joy and not just his lose.





Wow sir, that is a lot to deal with ...BUT I believe you are rite "it will run its course"....I am 40 and lost my husband 7 years coming March...and pregnant and well a 10 month old son.....life sure did give me that curve...it did it took me a good 3 years and a vacation alone to find my true self...ME not wife, mother, sister or daughter ...ME and well it worked ....I was in a rut..and could not pull myself out of it....NOW life is well WONDERFUL....I thank god for wonderful family and friends and my "faith" and lots of journalling helped too...and well never looked back....I see my children growing every day and well SO AM I....SELF AWARENESS..I enjoy.....so before you know it...its 7 years......all the best to all of my BDSM friends and yes take a moment to remember the ones we lost and love dearly .....MERRY CHRISTMAS

[skp2bear]

In many ways Diablo has gone through muchmore than I have. I look upon him as a very special hero, mentor and am pleased to call him my special friend. but I know too that I may not have made it this far without the love and support of all of you. And for that I will be eternally greatful.
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