Are people really super turned on my BDSM acts?

[bambina]

...Or are they just fun? I think there was a thread about this already but I can't find it. So sorry for re-posting.

But I was just wondering if people actually got super excited by BDSM or if it's just fun. If men and women can really cum just by being tied up...or if it's just a fun activity to do before or during sex. I've actually never asked this question. No one has said whether or not it's fun or if it drives them bananas. Sure everyone here might enjoy some things. But is it truly a turn on or just something kinky to do before the main event?

I'm not talking about fetishes that directly stimulate sexual organs (like breasts, crotches, etc...). I'm talking about fetishes that are just fetishes and do not provide direct stimulation. Some guys like to walk about in women's clothes. But do people actually cum from that? Some women like to be spanked. But do spankings make them have an orgasm?

"Oh my god. Oh yes this latex is so hot. Soooo hot. Oh yeah I'm going to cum. I'm gonna cum!"

The reason I ask is because, I see fetish acts like spanking and bondage and dressing up as fun things that are separate from sex. I'm not turned on or wet. I'm just having fun dressing up like a little girl for a guy. Does that mean that I don't have true fetishes and that I don't belong in this lifestyle just because I'm not turned on by sadistic things?

[denuseri]

Different strokes (swoosh smack! OWW omg thanku sir) for different folks.

As with all things the degree of excitement is going to vary from individual to individual.

I am not a pain slut per say, but i have indeed achieved orgasm before from a properly applied spanking to my anus and cunt. I have also just came before due to the situation i was in while bound etc without outside stimulation (before i was conditioned to orgasm on command).

I am sure this effect is unique to every individual, yet i am certian i am not the only one thats had an orgasm from thier fettish before eaither.

[hopperboo]

...Or are they just fun?

But I was just wondering if people actually got super excited by BDSM or if it's just fun. If men and women can really cum just by being tied up...or if it's just a fun activity to do before or during sex.

Some women like to be spanked. But do spankings make them have an orgasm?

I'm not turned on or wet.

The idea of being held down, or tied down for me is a huge turn on.

And the idea of spanking (among other things) is a HUGE turn on too.


Fun? Yes, I think it would be that too, but I'd also want times when it wasn't so 'light hearted.' If that makes any sense.

I haven't experienced any of these, but just from reading alone...I can say yes, it's a turn on for me. I hope that r/t can be just as - and hopefully more - exhilarating.

[Flaming_Redhead]

I don't cum simply from being tied up or spanked. Hell, for me, cumming is never simple. *lol* However, I am turned on by domination, fear, humiliation, and pain. It doesn't even have to be "fun" for my juices to start flowing.

You might just be a kinkster, and there's nothing wrong with that. People do some of these things for fun and to spice up their sex life, like my best friend. People like me do it because "normal" sexual activities are not very arousing. Too many times in a row of regular ol' sex without a spanking or some other such activity will result in my inability to cum or even to get wet or stay wet. In fact, I'll get distracted and start thinking of something else, wishing it would hurry up and be over.

[MissConfused]

bambina my husband has no interest in BDSM so I am forced to perform self bondage
YES I masturbate and cum everytime

The one time he did something "kinky" he was drunk and he agreed to spank me
The only rule was that he keep spanking me until I told him to stop
I didn't stop him until I was crying like a little child
When he stopped spanking me he mounted me from behind
I had the best orgasm of my life as soon as he entered me
I had one more before he finally came
Afterwards I layed in bed for almost an hour much too exhausted to go shower

So YES if you find the proper scenario BDSM will give you screaming orgasms
What works for me probably won't work for you
Find your own fetish and enjoy it without restraint

[shayna{L_D}]

ive had my fair share of plain ol' sex, like Flaming Redhead put it, and to me it just doesnt do it for me, my mind starts to wander and think of other things, like taking a shower, hanging out with friends, Brad Pitt on occasion.


Im like hopperboo and Flaming_Redhead, i love to be spanked, held down, tied up, humliated, intimidated, fear and SOME pain get me going in the worst way. I need to stay in that mind frame throughout sex, i have never cum before period, but when i do have regualr old sex, like i said above i get disinterested and get bored, and or dry to the bone.

The kinkyness needs to stay steady or i wont be into it, is what im trying to say. No i do not think i can cum from just one thing, like being tied down or just spanked. Yes, it turns me on very much so but i dont think i can cum just from that.

[bambina]

Okay. So it's basically another "Depends upon the person" kinda thing.

[hopperboo]

Umm....

I just want to throw in here that I'm perfectly turned on by the idea of "normal" sex (as long as the male is in 'charge' in some type of way) too...you aren't alone.

[MissConfused]

Bambina yes exactly
Find what you want and it will always excite you
The people on this website are into BDSM

Have you ever experimented?

[MasterDragon]

and where this is going.

First thing I would like to say is that our dictionaries cannot define it. As you can see when you go to this link.

(add the www)dictionary.reference.com/browse/fetish

This one is the oldest.

fet·ish /ˈfɛtɪʃ, ˈfitɪʃ/ Pronunciation Key - Show Spelled Pronunciation[fet-ish, fee-tish] Pronunciation Key - Show IPA Pronunciation
–noun
1. an object regarded with awe as being the embodiment or habitation of a potent spirit or as having magical potency.
2. any object, idea, etc., eliciting unquestioning reverence, respect, or devotion: to make a fetish of high grades.
3. Psychology. any object or nongenital part of the body that causes a habitual erotic response or fixation.
Also, fetich.

[Origin: 1605–15; earlier fateish < Pg feitiço charm, sorcery (n.), artificial (adj.) < L factīcius factitious; r. fatisso, fetisso < Pg, as above]

—Related forms
fet·ish·like, adjective

—Synonyms 1. talisman, amulet.
Dictionary.com Unabridged (v 1.1)
Based on the Random House Unabridged Dictionary, © Random House, Inc. 2006.

I was always taught this one so I am kinda partial to it.

fetish fet·ish (fět'ĭsh, fē'tĭsh)
n.

1. Something, such as an object or a nonsexual part of the body, that arouses sexual desire and may become necessary for sexual gratification.


It is simple and not dirty, I guess I like definitions like that. Dirty comes in everywhere why in my definitions........:

So in other words the dictionaries cannot agree and neither can we. On the true meaning that is. So look at it this way. Technically the word as labeled to the 'lifestyle' is very young, so you may not even see it as a 'lifestyle' word. But then again simplistic is not ou (humans) way.


Variety, multiplicity are the two most powerful vehicles of lust.
--Marquis de Sade

[MasterDragon]

bambina yes exactly
find what you want and it will always excite you
the people on this website are into bdsm

have you ever experimented?

Agreed!!!

[bambina]

No. I suppose it's too early for me to ask this question then.

[MissConfused]

bambina I am still very curious why you call these "acts?"
This is very real to all of us here
I am new and have followed only one command thus far but my experience was not an act. I experienced real bondage and humiliation.
In case you are wondering I felt more ALIVE than I have in several decades.
The commands drove me to my limits and beyond and I succeeded!

I ask that some gentle dom give you a command for you to perform
I believe you will find this is not an act

[lucy]

Sometimes i really like it very much just to be tied up and NOT have sex afterwards. Or before. Or while being tied up. On other times i have just plain old - and often good - vanilla sex. And i definitely am not too fond of sadistic things.
But still, i consider myself a submissive, and i think it's not acting. I get really turned on just when he ties my hands behind my back. And so does my Master (think that i'm a sub and get turned on). So, all in all, i'm quite fine and honestly i don't give a rats' ass about what others think of it.

[hopperboo]

bambina I am still very curious why you call these "acts?"
This is very real to all of us here
I am new and have followed only one command thus far but my experience was not an act.

A person looking in, a newbie, it can sometimes (or most of the time) look like 'acts.' And cold, calculated ones many times too, especially for ones looking in at how Dominants interact with their submissive.

I'm not saying that is the right view, but if that is why she used to words act, well, I've felt this way before and to be truly honestly, I still sometimes DO with some people.



***I don't mean to offend anyone with this post, just sharing another view.



P.S. I must have missed the post that said 'act,' but I'm going to leave this post the way it is.

[Ragoczy]

http://wordnet.princeton.edu/perl/webwn?s=act

# S: (n) act, enactment (a legal document codifying the result of deliberations of a committee or society or legislative body)
# S: (n) act, deed, human action, human activity (something that people do or cause to happen)
# S: (n) act (a subdivision of a play or opera or ballet)
# S: (n) act, routine, number, turn, bit (a short theatrical performance that is part of a longer program) "he did his act three times every evening"; "she had a catchy little routine"; "it was one of the best numbers he ever did"
# S: (n) act (a manifestation of insincerity) "he put on quite an act for her benefit"

[Hime]

Yes, BDSM stuff turns me on much more than "vanilla" sex stuff does. For instance, I like to look at pictures of naked men, but if the man is handcuffed it's much more likely to have, er, a physical effect. I get really turned on just by words that I associate with D/s roles, let alone actual situations.

[rsjankowski]

some people can have screaming "o's" when they are in the essence of their special kink. for me it's more of build up. haven't found that capability yet where i can get off just by thinking of bdsm. but lord knows i do get really excited about it.

[Logic1]

I dont get turned on so far as to cum just by tying my gf up but yes I get turned on by it. I love just doing the tying and holding her down. I like plain vanilla sex just fine but it is like cake without the cream if you know what I mean.

[PetJulie]

I would have to say the thing that turns me on the most is the burn on my ass right after being flogged.
As well as biting on my neck and shoulders but my Master is not into that.

[MissConfused]

PetJulie one very naughty, perverse, or whatever thing I really enjoy is sitting in the church's pew Sunday morning after my husband has spanked me very hard Saturday night
I still feel the pain from the spanking but feel guilty (naughty) having that experience in the church
I hope I'm not going to hell

[DIXIE LASS]

"If you're not in my head, you're not in my erogenous zone."

(source unknown)

Dixie

[DesertDom]

I would have to say the thing that turns me on the most is the burn on my ass right after being flogged.
As well as biting on my neck and shoulders but my Master is not into that.

A bit off topic, but:
I hope that you were able to watch True Blood the other night on HBO. The heroine in the show finally allowed her vampire boyfriend to bite her, it was incredibly erotic.

[secret_slave]

I'm fairly certain there needs to be direct genital stimulation for an orgasm to be reached, or at least that's my personal experience. I certainly get incredibly aroused through BDSM acts, and would say that they excite me and arouse me more than vanilla sex acts. I'm not about to get off by being blindfolded or spanked...but it would certainly help

[bambina]

Quick question. Is it possible to cum through direct stimulation alone (masturbation) without fantasizing? I've always fantasized while masturbating but I could never concentrate if I were in the middle of 'the act'. Could I still cum without the fantasizing?

[Omen]

That is possible yes, if your worked up and just need some release it's not hard to do for some. You don't even have to think of anything, just go at yourself and let nature take it's course. The human body can easily react to simulation even if the person wishes it would not. Fantasy does not always play into it.

[MasterDragon]

A bit off topic, but:
I hope that you were able to watch True Blood the other night on HBO. The heroine in the show finally allowed her vampire boyfriend to bite her, it was incredibly erotic.

It was bloody hot no pun intended.:

[Ragoczy]

I'm fairly certain there needs to be direct genital stimulation for an orgasm to be reached, or at least that's my personal experience. I certainly get incredibly aroused through BDSM acts, and would say that they excite me and arouse me more than vanilla sex acts. I'm not about to get off by being blindfolded or spanked...but it would certainly help

I've seen some individuals who orgasmed from a variety of things other than direct genital stimulation. For instance, I've known both men and women who could reach orgasm from a caning.

[MasterDragon]

I'm fairly certain there needs to be direct genital stimulation for an orgasm to be reached, or at least that's my personal experience. I certainly get incredibly aroused through BDSM acts, and would say that they excite me and arouse me more than vanilla sex acts. I'm not about to get off by being blindfolded or spanked...but it would certainly help

The answer to this question is. No you do not have to have genital stimuli, trust me. They are just usually the easiest to stimulate. The better the stimulator, real or fake, human or prop, the easier to stimulate. No matter where the application.

[BrightFyrefly]

It was bloody hot no pun intended.:

Yes, yes it was...*sigh* brings to mind my major attraction to vampires that ran through much of my life...*sigh*