Am I the only one?

[Ladyvet]

Am I the only one living a sub lifestyle who's interested in a discussion? I'd rather hear from other bottoms (both female and male) than Tops but Masters and Mistresses are free to comment. Oh... pardon me if that last sentence appears to be out of line. I acknowledge that Tops may do anything They wish! <grin>

[GaryWilcox]

I'm neither.

I believe my inclinations run towards being a Master, as submission doesn't do much for me. But outside of a few attempts with past lovers, I've never taken these inclinations very far. I've yet to find a partner who preferred me to express that side.

I think after my divorce, I need deep emotional content (not sex) before I can share myself (that means sex) with a partner. That's a tricky thing to develop with someone you want to get a little rough with.

When I write as a man, I'm dominant. When I write as a woman, I'm submissive. I don't *believe* I have trouble reconciling the two, but as I never write female dominant, male submissive, well, you do the math.

[Ladyvet]

Not everyone has Dom or sub inclinations. I think the majority of people are not interested in a relationship characterized by an exchange of power.

I know people of both genders who play with people who aren't their partners just for the sake of it. I'm not into recreational sex, bondage or punishment for its own sake. I do enjoy being in a scene when my husband/Master commands me to. I like it that he derives pleasure from watching me being punished and/or pleasured.

I've written from a variety of points of view. I find female characters much more complex and interesting than males. No offense intended to males! Perhaps knowing more about the female mind and response patterns makes it easier for me to develop female characters.

I just submitted a story written from the male sub POV called "Service With a Smile." It's about a man who's wife/Mistress forces him to provide stud service after devising a way to minimize his pleasure!

[faith]

I am by nature submissive, but that doesn't for a moment mean I am a push over. In the bedroom I am pure submissive, but in the work world I am in a possition of leadership. For me that feels right.

As for writing, I have written stories but all have been from the perspective of the woman character. Some have been Dom and some sub. Like LadyVet, for me writing a female character is easier simply because I understand the perspective better.

When I pick an erotic story to read, I will gravitate to stories told from a Dominate male perspective or a submissive female.

[patsub]

Originally posted by faith
I am by nature submissive, but that doesn't for a moment mean I am a push over. In the bedroom I am pure submissive, but in the work world I am in a possition of leadership. For me that feels right.

As for writing, I have written stories but all have been from the perspective of the woman character. Some have been Dom and some sub. Like LadyVet, for me writing a female character is easier simply because I understand the perspective better.

When I pick an erotic story to read, I will gravitate to stories told from a Dominate male perspective or a submissive female.

i am by nature a sub male , but still i find it difficult to write or fantasize out of a male view , it seems easier to do this from a female point .... hope this does not mean that i'm ready for the nutty house

[g42]

You say as a lifestyle. I'm a sub, definately. Have been as far back as I can remember, although I only recently realised what it is. I don't live as a lifestyle, though. My boy is way too far away for me to do anything like that.

So do I count?

[Ladyvet]

I seriously doubt your orientation indicates that you're ready for the nuthouse. I defy anyone to define "normal." Don't psychoanalyze yourself. You'll only wind up psyching yourself out. We all have little (or not so little)differences. That's what makes us human. Revel in your uniqueness and use it to advantage.

[Ladyvet]

Gwen,

What first made you decide you're a sub? Have you tried restraining yourself, if only symbolically? Are you comfortable with the thought of relinquishing your power over yourself to your boyfriend? If so, and you truly consider yourself to be sexually submissive, I think you "count." However, your orientation might change with experience.

We humans are not static. We are all works in progress until we die.

[Ladyvet]

Faith,

Being submissive to one's SO has little to do with how one lives the rest of one's life unless one needs someone to completely take over one's life. I, too work and I'm very competitive. My husband/Master gives me plenty of room in my professional life. I happily relinquish my private life to Him.

You might find writing from the male POV an interesting stretch. Give it a try. No one will know how your effort turns out unless you share it.

I enjoy writing developing a variety of characters with different orientations living in unusual situations. The mental stretching keeps my brain, perspective and libido fresh.

[g42]

Originally posted by Ladyvet
Gwen,
What first made you decide you're a sub? Have you tried restraining yourself, if only symbolically? Are you comfortable with the thought of relinquishing your power over yourself to your boyfriend? If so, and you truly consider yourself to be sexually submissive, I think you "count." However, your orientation might change with experience.

Rather then type this all out again, I'm going to copy/paste something I posted to another group a while ago. For some background stuf, There was a discussion about different sexualities and I talked about being a sub and a lot of people didn't really get it, so I posted this. There's a bit of pretty elementry explanations in there, but I'm sure you can just ignore what's not important.

######BEGIN OLD TEXT#######

OK, so here it all is out in the open. I'm not prone to tiptoeing around anything and I sure feel awkward about doing it about this. I do it all the time. It's really the only part of myself that I don't share with most people, although I feel awfully fake for not being open about it.

In writing this, I am of course considering the possibility of this post coming to bite me in the ass, since it would take VERY little effort to find out who I really am based on what I say here, and who knows, maybe some potential employer will want to check up on me twenty years in the future. As we know, Usenet is forever.

So here it goes...

My sexual orientation is multi-dimensional. Rather then being somewhere on a line between straight and gay, I have considered many different factors in defining myself. I have decided upon a simple(fied) three word phrase: "submissive masochist straightish." Most of my other likes or dislikes are results of those three being true.

They are ordered by how important they are to me. It's more important to me that I can be a submissive than masochist, that I can be masochist over straightish. I don't think that that's absolute, though. For example, if Al decided he never wanted to top me again, I would probably stay with him. But if he found another girl to play with and told me to have sex with her, I would do that, because I'm a submissive first. Make sense?

Because straightish merits little discussion, I'll ignore that for the time being and go into ones that are more interesting, and which I had a harder time with.

Some -brief- history:

Between the ages of three and thirteen: They were all rape fantasies in one way or another. Almost every sexual fantasy I'd ever had. They all involved me being forcibly controlled by various people or groups. It ranged from aliens in my younger days to mysterious, dark, powerful men. Sometimes it was an imaginary society. Oftentimes there was no identifiable controller. That was not important to me. The important part, the part that excited me, was the ways I was forced to do things. The way whoever or whatever it was hurt me and made me unhappy in the fantasy. I experienced the most intense sexual feelings of my life imagining pain and suffering.

For a large part of it, it was not overtly sexual. It didn't involve *sex*. Shit, I didn't fantasise about sex as in intercourse at all until I was past 15 y/o. I do recognise the feelings I had as obviously sexual now, but at the time I wasn't really sure. I had a way of just concentrating on the part of the fantasy that I cared about and made me feel good and ignoring the rest. I think I understood basically what sex was and that you like it when you're older, but I had a fairly poor grasp of it, being sheltered.

It's weird, looking back now; I came up with ideas in my 9 year old mind that I'd find later on in pretty hardcore BDSM literature. Ideas that certainly weren't presented in any media I was exposed to when I was a kid. Actually, I had very little concept of what BDSM was beyond a vague idea of a dominatrix archetype and had never thought it was connected to me at all.

By the age of around 13 or so, I had realised that the way I thought wasn't the way everyone else thought and I had better change it. So, for a while, I abandoned my ideas about sexual slavery. They were getting a bit boring, anyways. I took up really lame fantasies about the really stupid boys I knew. Nothing particularly interesting. I eventually gave up on it. It wasn't at all exciting for me to think about kissing whoever I was liking.

Around the beginning of last year, I somehow started being less afraid of going where I wanted on the Internet and came across BDSM literature... At first I didn't even connect it with myself. But it was pretty damn cool. I tried to get the boy I was dating at the time to play a bit with me but he wasn't very interested.

And since then I've just been learning off an on the way I do.


Now for how things are now?

I love being submissive. It means, when Al and I are in our roles, he controls me. It goes deeper then that, of course, but it's rather complicated. He bought me a collar when I was in Glasgow. It's a sort of silly looking thing, and I imagine at some point if we ever find somewhere to buy one I might be able to get another one. Unfortunately, neither Glasgow nor here has any real sex stores that we could find, so this one stays until we go someplace else.

It feels absolutely fantastic. I love it. I've not ever experienced anything near as intense as I have with him doing these things. I really feel that I am naturally submissive. I really consider it an orientation, a part of me, just like straight or gay. I don't know if I could be happy and satisfied in a relationship where it wasn't present at all.

As for masochism, that's just something that feels really good. It's not as... spiritual (?) for me as being a submissive is. Also we don't play with it quite as much because Al *is* a really nice guy and all. <grin>

Generally, I know what I'm doing with this as much as I know what I'm doing about most stuff in my life, as much as any chick my age knows. I've done quite a lot of reading and such.


General BDSM info if you don't know (cause i didn't before I started):

BDSM stands for: BD - Bondage & Discipline
DS - Dominance & Submission
SM - Sado-masochism

You can be into one part but not into another. Personally I want to try everything and I guess I've tasted it all. I've been top and bottom. I have a fun time being a domme but it's not fulfilling the way being a sub is.

Something else you should know about is safe words. They're very important. A safe word is a word that means "no". It's so that if you're doing something like a rape fantasy and something goes wrong, you have a way out. Saying, "no, stop" won't work if it's in your character. Ours is "kiwi". I say kiwi and everything stops. Immediately. If everything failed to stop I would have serious trust issues for a very long time. But since I believe in Al to be a fantastic person, I can can give him control of my body and my mind. It's a wonderful feeling. It's so much trust.

Speaking of trust et al, since I've done so much reading (thank you Internet), I am really aware of safety and such. I know how to do things safely that I probably won't do anytime in the near future. I won't get hurt doing this. Al knows, too, so we're pretty cool about that.


On a more scientific and introspective note, I have a possible explanation for why I crave a relationship like this. My parents are very.... liberal. It's kind of like when you say, "when I grow up I'm going to be a cool parent." Except they really did it. I do pretty much what I like around here. I suppose I don't really test it much, but still. I haven't been punished in AGES. Shit. The last time I got anything more then yelled at, or at most threatened with a punishment was... fuck.. grade 4 or something. I'm never grounded. I never have the computer taken away from me. I can stay up pretty much as late as I want. My parents have very little control over me. I dunno if they even realise it, since I just do nothing all day and don't bug them and stay mostly out of trouble. Oh well.

At any rate, I've read that kids need a certain amount of control. I wonder if this is just my way of getting that? I think I might post to a BDSM group and see what others think. I fin it kind of noncongruogous(sp) though, because why would I make this a sex game if what I want is control from my parents? Would this be some sort of Freud-like thing with transference? Was Freud the one who talked about transference? Or was that Jung? They kind of blend together in my mind for some points. If I found out that was likely, it'd be kind of creepy, you know? Incest is something I don't even fantasise about, let alone like the idea of.

Well, I guess that's enough babbling. This really is the sort of thing that doesn't look very... good (?) in text like this, particularly to strange people who might not know a lot of things about me.

But I am glad I got it out. Consider this a coming out of the closet. Well I wasn't all the way in, but that doesn't matter. I'm out now. Tada! If anyone decides to hold what I've said here against me, well... I guess I can't stop you. I'd ask you not to, though. It would be awfully intolerant. I really don't believe I'm hurting myself or Al. I love being like this. It's so intense.

#######END OLD TEXT#######

So that's it. A lot of introspection, eh? Hope I didn't bore everyone too much or kill some app with a huge database entry or something... <grin>

[faith]

LadyVet:
For you and me, I think what you say is very true. Being submissive to one's SO has little to do with how one lives the rest of one's life but for some that is far from true. Being submissive and living with that knowledge also means taking responsibility for yourself and your choices, ....*grin * ....and it is very apparent from your writing that you do, but for some, especially novice subs, that idea is foreign. They see being submissive as never taking responsibility when the opposite is in fact truer. Being sub also means acknowledging that nothing in life is stagnant. Everyone changes and every relationship changes too. When you are dealing with BDSM or D/s it is vital that all the people involved acknowledge that the potential for serious problems and abuses does exists. It is my heartfelt belief that trust must be a basic building block in every intimate relationship. Having said that, trust is even more important in a D/s relationship. Contracts and safe words are a vital part of that trust.The Dom trusts the sub to not misuse the Stop sign and the sub trusts that while the Dom might push the set limits they will not step over the line. For any relationship to work the lines of communications must be open otherwise disaster is a very real possibility.

patsub:…love, normal is boring, so if your planning a trip to the nuthouse can I come along for the ride?

[Ladyvet]

Thanks for sharing! We all crave a certain amount of structure in our lives. Some are naturally very structured (uptight, anal retentive, etc.). Others are less structured but recognize a need for it in their lives. I'm in the second group. As for rape fantasies, I think we all have those but few would want it to really happen. Imagining lets us experience things safely. It lets us sample experiences without having them. That's perfectly healthy and desirable. Safe words and Tops who act on them are very important to safety! Our safe word is RED! My husband/Master stops what He's doing immediately when He hears it. Equally important; non-verbal "safe action"! You need to be able to make things stop if you're gagged. I hold something in my right hand when I'm gagged. Dropping it is the "safe action." You're very mature for your age but please take care! Experience is an excellent teacher but it takes a while to acquire. Please be careful!

[Ladyvet]

Thanks for sharing! We all crave a certain amount of structure in our lives. Some are naturally very structured (uptight, anal retentive, etc.). Others are less structured but recognize a need for it in their lives. I'm in the second group. As for rape fantasies, I think we all have those but few would want it to really happen. Imagining lets us experience things safely. It lets us sample experiences without having them. That's perfectly healthy and desirable. Safe words and Tops who act on them are very important to safety! Our safe word is RED! My husband/Master stops what He's doing immediately when He hears it. Equally important; non-verbal "safe action"! You need to be able to make things stop if you're gagged. I hold something in my right hand when I'm gagged. Dropping it is the "safe action." You're very mature for your age but please take care! Experience is an excellent teacher but it takes a while to acquire. Please be careful!

[g42]

Rape fantasies: no, I don't think everyone has this. i say tis knowing a few girls who have gone through real rape (you probably know a dozen or two; they're everywhere) and most of them do NOT fantasize about it. I had a best friend to whom that happened and it was wierd because on the on hand I knew about her and on the other she knew about me. An odd conflict or interests?

Non-verbal safes: Yup, I know about that, but that's for nothing it. Neither me nor Al is really expierienced enough to feel comfortable with a gag for too long or for too much, just because we're pretty big on feedback and comunication and all. The simple fact is that he can't read me well enough (he's too far away to have developped an intuition like that yet) for him to be able to tell when I'm feeling really good or really bad without me telling him sometime. Especially because to him they often look and sound the same. Machoism is funny the way it makes you cry but you don't want it to stop.... and I'm a lot heavier into this then he is, so he's very cautious.

It's all about confidence and comfort. *I'm* sure as hell not going to push anything.

[GaryWilcox]

On the issue of the reality of rape, and rape fantasies...

I've had longterm realtionships with only twelve lovers in my life. I started mapping them out, because there are two relationships where a rape greatly effected our relationship and my own sexual identity.

After typing each relationship out and considering them each for thirty minutes,

<snip>

I can't see any reason to post them. They probably don't have relevance to anyone but me, and it seems a little crass to mention them. I was trying to define the trend in my relationships-- the women, their sexual histories, and their fantasies and sexual interests.

There is no trend... Their fantasies have bearing on their experiences, but never really in the same way. My fascination with BDSM/NC/rape has a defined point of origin in one relationship. And with the subsequent year I spent in Gainesville, Florida, during the Rolllings murders.

I think the point I wanted to make in this huge post (whittled down to the essentials now, I hope) is that the majority of the women I've had as lovers were raped at some point. A few of them were locked in cycles of having sex with men who reminded them of their attackers, and replaying the event again and again. Most just moved on and didn't let it change what they wanted in a lover.

I am both attracted and repulsed to ideas of nonconsensual sex and rape. In my fantasies, it's a reality, but not a first person experience-- voyeuristic perspective on villains I manufacture. I don't think I'm capable of getting off on a sexual fantasy of a rape where I'm the villain. In reality, real life kidnappings, abductions, rapes, etc. make me mad as hell-- livid, fists clenched, teeth bare; and it would bother me to no end to learn that something I wrote gave someone an idea about how to take the fantasy into reality.

[Ladyvet]

G42,

I meant most women who have NOT been sexually assaulted probably fantasize about being forced to have sex. I do know women who've been assaulted. The real experience is gruesome enough to prevent their having further fantasies. Maybe men fantasize about things they wouldn't want to do in real life, such as fight in a war. Your friend may have had rape fantasies before being attacked. That doesn't imply that she WANTED it to happen or did anything to precipitate it.

Masochism is a very complex thing. A lot of the pleasure we experience is due to the production of endorphins ("feel-good molecules"), which circulate when we're excited, whether that excitation is pleasurable or painful. You're fortunate that Al is careful of you. There's a fine line between inflicting punishment and being brutal. You don't want a brutal partner.

I think you'll find yourself pushing the boundaries as you grow more experienced. One can never experience a sensation as powerfully after the first time. Growth means change.

[Ladyvet]

Rubbr,

Getting raped can change one's entire world, including how a woman relates to men and feels about herself. Such profound changes naturally affect relationships. I wouldn't want to be raped. I imagine it and other things I wouldn't want to live through, such as being permanently locked in a chastity belt, branded or whipped bloody. I, too, would stop writing if I thought brutes and rapists would get the idea and inspiration from reading my stories. Imagination is not a hidden craving for action. It's the psyche's way of trying out new situations in safety.

[GaryWilcox]

Originally posted by Ladyvet
Getting raped can change one's entire world, including how a woman relates to men and feels about herself. Such profound changes naturally affect relationships.

Rape doesn't seem to change or effect everyone in the same way, which was somebody else's point... Although I'm sure a vast majority of people do have rape fantasies of some kind, I spent some time looking back at the women I have been with and their natures (or what I knew about their natures), and I concede that not everyone does harbor rape fantasies.

Originally posted by Ladyvet
I wouldn't want to be raped. I imagine it and other things I wouldn't want to live through, such as being permanently locked in a chastity belt, branded or whipped bloody. I, too, would stop writing if I thought brutes and rapists would get the idea and inspiration from reading my stories. Imagination is not a hidden craving for action. It's the psyche's way of trying out new situations in safety.

I wouldn't want to be raped either.

My fantasies and what I'm willing to write about are two different things. I think I use science fiction elements as a way of keeping the sex from being real or duplicatible...

[patsub]

Originally posted by Ladyvet
I seriously doubt your orientation indicates that you're ready for the nuthouse. I defy anyone to define "normal." Don't psychoanalyze yourself. You'll only wind up psyching yourself out. We all have little (or not so little)differences. That's what makes us human. Revel in your uniqueness and use it to advantage.

of course i know that , notice the smilies
indeed anyone who can define normal is or lying or veru abonormal himself

[bbwolf]

This is very intressting things to read. Beeing a "male" myself I can hardly picture myself beeing raped. And even so I always pictured myself as a "Top" I had submissiv fantasies in my teens and preteens.
I too, had a relationship with a girl who was once raped and we tried (very carefully) to work this out. I took awfully long fer her to open up to me, but eventually she did. We had Sex right from the start and told each other we´re into BDSM, too. So we knew what we´re getting into, but after she told me about her past expierences it was tough shit fer me. It even happend to her in a bdsm-session. She told me she could only be a sub fer me because of my ultra-protectiv beeing. Even so I like to perform a Dom role I´d never be able to hurt anybody on purpose (against her/his will, that is).
The thought of somebody forced against his own will to whatever is a major turn off fer me like nothing else is. If I can´t be absolutley sure of the free will of my partner or another "victim" in a play I watch, I can´t play or keep my arousel.

One time I even lost control at a party and beat the shit outa another "Master" because I was sure he´d lost the touch with reality and crossed the consensual line. Fortunately he really did and his "slave" was really gratefull. I was near berserk and it took a close friend with a lot of guts to stop me. But I crossed lines too. I lost controll and wasn´t able to find a better solution than brute force.
I´m really gratefull fer not beeing arrested. I wasn´t able to attend a party or play in a session ever since cause I´m terrified about losing control again. What if I hurt a "sub" because I lose controll and don´t see/ hear the safeword or the drop of the bell or whatever. Or even worse, what if I don´t care in this moment?

I alway was a control freak and often could´nt enjoy the play because of that. Right now I feel like I´m even more detached from an workin bdsm lifestyle than I ever was. Practicing Yoga and related stuff like, mh...Tai´Chi helps a bit.

So, I know it´s all in MY head and I´ve got to figure it out one way or another, but.... got an advice?


Hey, I´m cool with ma life right now, cause I´d rather be alone and have daisy sex once in a while before I risk hurting anyone.
And even so, I think I´d take action again if I feel there´s someone about to be raped or else

I hope this was the interresting upside down view from a Top.

[Ladyvet]

Hi BB,

My advice is not to push yourself into a Dom role, with which you seem uncomfortable. Do only what's comfortable for you and your partner. Not everyone is cut out to be a Dom or sub. Play if you and your partner want to but don't emphasize that aspect of your relationship. Avoid scene parties. Relationships are supposed to be fun, not sources of tension, self doubt and unhappiness.

Ladyvet

[bbwolf]

I´m not pushing. Not anymore that is.
But after all seeing myself in the dom role REALLY gets me going.
And I really, REALLY get going. Nothing like a helpless body to get me hot. But as I said, I´m a control Freak. The safety of my partner is prime directive to me. That´s me.
Sometimes I´m a mad/bad jester. Gotta have the liberty of humor.
Maybe thats a role to cultivate. But thanks fer the reply. Even though it was very short.

[sirsw]

I've enjoyed the posts here. Seems like a variety of experiences and life style leanings. I myself am a Dom and have been in or on the edge of the D/s lifestyle for about 17 years. Have been active with a submisive partner for the past 4 years. I agree with others that it can be difficult to define yourself as one or the other (dom or sub), especially when you start out.
I think that D/s is actually a circular experience, as oposed to a linear one. We all have qualities of both inside us though we tend to gravitate toward one as our core. This core, what a past submissive of mine called your soul, is really what we seek to discover on our journey in BDSM. This sub of mine told me she believed that women tend to discover their submissive soul at age 30 and that men discover their Dominant soul at age 40. No actual research to support this, but I do believe it is fairly accurate (based on purely annecdotal info from others in the lifestyle).
As I said, I know I have a Dominant soul, but I do have parts of me that are submissive and a need to explore these from time to time. My sub and I don't make the mistake of trying to make her Dominate me. She is a sub and to have her do that would create all kinds of emotional turmoil (though as a sub if I asked her to, she would). But I have learned that a Dominant has a responsibility to protect and support the sub that is committed to them. So I don't ask her to do things I know would create emotional turmoil. So if I need to feed my submissive urges I tend to play with a FemDom friend of mine. We are good friends first and Dom/sub second. This makes it easier for us both to get what we need from our play (I worried in the beginning I would be topping from the bototm, but she has made sure I don't). Also, since we are friends we both look out for the welfare of each other. All in all a good experience without all the baggage of a full blown relationship.
Whoa, this got a bit longer than I meant it to. So I'll leave it here and see if others would like to comment. Then I can always reply back.

[VLMarquette]

If you were the only one, then where in the world would all the Tops get bottoms? I happen to be very much a sub, and have been told more than once by those who read my stuff, that you can tell it.

Oh, and just so you know, I am very female, and very gender biased.


V.L. Marquette

[Xodus]

Hi All
I am a male dom; have been as long as I can remember. I have never felt the urge to sub.
My wife is my slave. I met her at a BDSM club ten years ago. I was thirty-nine at the time and she was twenty. She is bisexual. I am heterosexual.
I was giving an exhibition on the diversity and expertise of paddles. When I finished with the sub that was helping me. I asked for volunteers and the luckiest moment of my life walked up on the stage
Through the years, I have had the pleasure and honor of bringing excitement to many women and I think that is the key to being a dom.
I would much rather pleasure the sub than myself. It is really all I think about during an encounter.
A dom must not only have control over the sub (many say the sub actually control’s the dom and that is true to a certain extent) but total control over himself/herself. I have never hurt a sub, more than she wanted to be hurt. I specialize in paddles and clips though. I have never wanted to use implements that have a great potential to cause a lot of damage.
My wife has total faith in my abilities, as she occasionally brings a female lover over for me to pleasure with my toys.
She is responsible for my starting to write BDSM stories. I have been writing stories of all kinds for a long time. She and I have enjoyed reading the stories on this and other sites.
Recently, we were reading a story and I told her I thought the author should have spent a lot more time on the enema scene. She suggested I write a story myself. And.................
Here I am

PS: My first story, Test Subjects, has been posted. I hope some of you enjoy it

[Sir Draconis]

Please don't abandon this forum altogether but DO check out the following :
Http://www.soi.com
Also known as the state of insanity, this is perhaps the very best BDSM forum going on today and in my not so humble opinion is admirably suited to the desires you have expressed in your posting.
Sir Draco

[kimberly]

i am a submissive, slave and soulmate to my Master, Paul. i am so happy to see there are others out there. one thing i want to comment on, because it is such a *true* pharse is "power exchange". Master and i are well aware of the importance of the balance of power between Dom and sub in the Lifestyle. if O/one doesn't realize how it works, the term can be misunderstood. everything i have, everything i am....is His. i willingly give up all for Him, giving Him the "power". however, He takes on all responsiblity for my well being. as i am His property, He is my protector. S/some disagree with my choice of word "property" but, i am just that, i am His....and my soul glows in His presence. do W/we fight? *nods*...uh huh...definately! *giggles* but at days end, i know my place.....its right where i began, right where i'll end, right where i want to be....*smiles*

Master's slave and soulmate,

[BDSM_Tourguide]

Umm... Submissive ánd slave are two different things.

Not meaning to be nit-picky, of course, but that is one of the things that people seem to confuse in their lifestyle often. Are you a submissive or a slave? I have a friend that has written an extensive article on the subject. I'll have to see if I still have it posted somewhere and possibly forward it here.

I'm not a submissive. I am dominant. I have been involved in the bdsm lifestyle for thirteen years now. My interest was first piqued when I read the Gor novels by John Norman. Funny thing is: Back then there wasn't a Gorean branch of the bdsm tree. LOL

I don't consider myself to be a "typical" dominant, either. I don't capitalize my my's, nor any of my other pronouns. I also don't feel it necessary to capitalize my status as a dominant. It's personal choice, of course, and I'm not going to condemn others for the way they type.

Well, I'm getting a little off-topic here. Sorry for that. Looking back on things, I'm very happy to have found out about bdsm and the surrounding lifestyle. I'm also incredibly happy to have found out about this website. I like the diversity of the fetishes and the fact that people don't seem to mind reading them. I don't see others judging people for their thoughts here. I have seen too much of that lately in chat rooms and alternative lifestyle websites. So, keep up the great work and I will contribute as much and as often as I can to this site.

[kimberly]

Gor? *perks*

*kneels with palms up on parted thighs.....back straight...breasts out.....head high....eyes lowered*

Tal, BDSM_Tourguide.....this girl welcomes You to BDSM Library.




Master's slave and soulmate,

[Paul{k}]

*stands behind His slave, casting a carefully critical eye over her posture, then nodding approvingly and proudly*


Greetings, BDSM_Tourguide. I join with My slave in welcoming You here.

Sincerely,

Paul{k}
Master and Soulmate of kimberly{P}