Vanilla

[MasterVenom]

so...ive heard vanilla quite often...can anyone explain what it means and where it came from?

[Tojo]

As I understand it, a vanilla relationship is plain or straight, as opposed to kinky. I imagine it alludes to vanilla icecream.

Personally I hate the term.

Still, if people want to use it, that's fine by me- I like vanilla icecream....a good straight relationship is nothing to sneeze at either. I wouldn't swap my 'straight' wife for any kinky lady.

Tojo

[Brosco]

My understanding also is that it is an anology to icecream, as in the Baskin Robin's 33 (or whatever) flavours to pick from. To me, D/s is just one of the many flavours out there, and does not claim to be superior to others, nor is it implied that vanilla is inferior. I think it is a cute term and, like all other words adopted, it just allows us to communicate with just one word to convey a situation, rather than needing a whole sentence.

[gloombunny]

It basically means "not BDSM". I don't like it much either, since it implies that both non-BDSM relationships and vanilla ice cream are bland, and in my experience neither of them are if done right.

[Ozme52]

I've always read it as 'plain vanilla' but not meaning bad, dull or ordinary. After all, vanilla is the base ingredient in milk shakes and malts, sundaes and banana splits.

LOL... as a bdsm referent... maybe it just means no crushed nuts.

[Brosco]

It basically means "not BDSM". I don't like it much either, since it implies that both non-BDSM relationships and vanilla ice cream are bland, and in my experience neither of them are if done right.

I don't see that 'vanilla' implies bland - it just doesn't have the extras that is added to others... and there are plenty of people that don't want the extras, in their icecream or their lifestyle.

[gloombunny]

But vanilla ice cream isn't "lacking extras". It's a distinct flavor in its own right. When it's made properly, at least.

And I feel that this analogy extends into the realm of relationships. D/s isn't some kind of special thing added to a relationship... it's more like just a property which some relationships have and others don't. As I see it.

[bunkerchief]

On many forums on the internet, many times you see the claim that kinksters are more in touch with their sexuality than 'vanilla' people so vanilla is often used as a derogatory term.

I don't think kinksters necessarily are more in touch with their sexuality and I've come across just as much kink outside the sphere of people who label themselves kinksters.

It's a life style term and like all people who like to see themselves as having a different and unique life style, they want to set themselves apart by having their own 'in language'.