Polyamory

[sidhewolf]

I have been a Polyamorous person all of my life. Before I get going with too much more I'd like to add > that Polyamory to Me is Loving Honest Open Responsible Multi-Partner Relationships which are configured by negotiations agreements and bounderies. Polyamory is a one size fits all generic term for multi-partner relating of nearly any style, but that excludes cheating and/or the need for it. My definition of Polyamory for myself and relationships is not the only one by a long shot.

Because of my lifetime experience, and the fact that I have a large knowledge base that can be tapped by Anyone who'd like to. I'd like to offer up the option of contacting me to discuss it to Anyone interested in doing so.

So I'm wondering about others here regarding this topic.
Interested?
Ever done it?
Love it?
Hate it?
Want to share experiences and information?
What is Polyamory to you?

Respectfully, SidheWolf

[Rhabbi]

I have been a Polyamorous person all of my life. Before I get going with too much more I'd like to add > that Polyamory to Me is Loving Honest Open Responsible Multi-Partner Relationships which are configured by negotiations agreements and bounderies. Polyamory is a one size fits all generic term for multi-partner relating of nearly any style, but that excludes cheating and/or the need for it. My definition of Polyamory for myself and relationships is not the only one by a long shot.

Because of my lifetime experience, and the fact that I have a large knowledge base that can be tapped by Anyone who'd like to. I'd like to offer up the option of contacting me to discuss it to Anyone interested in doing so.

So I'm wondering about others here regarding this topic.
Interested?
Ever done it?
Love it?
Hate it?
Want to share experiences and information?
What is Polyamory to you?

Respectfully, SidheWolf

I always knew I was capable of loving more than one person, and can actually site cultural and scientific evidence to prove that humans are not monogamous. This does not make me an expert by any means, just someone who has and is learning to muddle through all the complexities of life.

[Sir_Russell]

Since I had 2 live-in slave at the same time for about 3 years I guess I am poly at heart.

Today thought that term seems to mean that you don't live with your partners or only one but have friends with benefits on the side.

Nothing wrong with that but these days I wonder about the level of "love" you are experiencing

[sidhewolf]

Hello All,

I agree Rhabbi that We All "muddle through the complexities of life" the best we can. We Learn and We Grow (or We don't), things Change irregardless.

Loving more than one person on a Partner level to me is no different than the average acceptable societal Family level of Loving parents, siblings, children, friends and other Family members. Though the configuration is different in the sense that a Poly Relationship may include sexual intimacy and more than one Partner.

I believe We as people not only are capable of Loving more than one person at a time, but that We do, all throughout our lives.

Respectfully, SidheWolf

[Guest 91108]

Hrm.. I consider myself to be polyamory.
I do not think love is confined to distance, or levels in relationships.
It's a perception idepth of the closeness one feels towards another/others.

I think it is untrue to self to try to be monogamous as it isn't natural but society pushed and within last century and half at that of human kinds history.
So it is not natural, IMO.

[Polaris]

Phew, that's a toughie for me. I'm a very monogamous person, which is I think mostly because of the fact that my emotional attachment to somebody tends to be really intense and deep...it is very rare for me to find a person who I really love, on whatever level (be it friendship or partnership-like). I imagine for me personally a polyamorous...thing...wouldn't work out, simply because it would be a highly complex thing for me and I'd have to worry about it constantly (plus it's too easy to make me feel neglected and/or rejected).

I believe...no, actually know...however that it is possible to love more than one person -- in different ways maybe, but equally nonetheless. It also seems to be something that works out for several people just fine -- and I find that beautiful, actually. There seems to be a degree of harmony in those relationships which I'd like to achieve in my own too...but I'm really just coming from some highly subjective observations here -- that means, I have no real clue

[Gr1m'sGirl]

I know I am monogamous. I am interested in bringing other people into my current relationship, but only for sexual exploration. I want to be in love with one person, and I want that person to be in love with me. I only want the strong emotional connection with that one person. No more, no less.

[sidhewolf]

Hello All ~
I've been far too busy IRT lately to get online anywhere. I've missed getting to read and communicate with others here and other places. I enjoy reading others thoughts experiences and opions. In response to the recent responses, I'll reply collectively as far as my thoughts experiences and knowledge base goes.

For One who mentioned that they question the "level of Love" one experiences in Poly Relationship's, I'd have to say it's the same or has the same potential as in any other style. The difference I believe is that there is just more of it, and it's Honestly Openly allowed. There are many different Poly configurations in Poly relating. It's true that some do not Live together, some don't Live together all the time, and some do. Those are Choices made by the people in the Relationships for whatever their reasons. There is also a form of Poly (termed Poly Swing) that is primarily a "friends with benefits" arrangement style, but these are at the far edge of the Poly Spectrum. That is one reason it's very important (just like any other style) to communicate with others Honestly and Openly A) to advise OP what Poly is to you and B) hear what Poly is to them, Before you venture anything with them. It's important for everyone to be on the same page. If someone is seeking a tertiary Partner in Poly Swing style relationship, and you are seeking a Primary Partner to eventually Live with, or at least a relationship that can Grow to that, you are Not a match, for instance. The Poly mantra is Communicate! Communicate! Communicate!

For other responses; Yes it's true that Poly Relating is "complex". I think the easiest way to describe it to someone who hasn't had the experience is to say; Look at how complex relating to one person is and then multiply it by however many others. Because that is in reality How it is. And yet for Poly people it is easier than mainstream styles. Reason being that Poly people have the capacity to Love and commit to more than one person. And being confined to Relating to only one person is too constraining for a Poly person to handle, and therefore becomes the more complex of the two options. The primary issues in Poly relating is Time Management, and not becomming Poly Saturated. These issues are about not taking on more other Partners than one can reasonably make Time and meet the needs of, for the most part. And these are determined by what Relationship(s) one is already in, and what amount of Time one has to devote to another person, as well as what Time one must spend working, and day to day things one must do. An example is; I currently Live with one Partner, I am involved with other people outside our Home, I work a full-time job, I have pets, and day to day things like laundry, housework/yardwork/gardening that I share in and other stuff I need to do and share in also. We Live in a pretty big place and have extra room for another person (or more) to Live here. I have room in my Heart and in my Life for another person. I also have Time I can offer. But *what I have to offer* would also have to be agreeable with the person who has interest in becomming a Partner. And *what they have to offer me* must also be agreeable to me. And there are other considerations also. Compatability with all Members of the Household (whether or not there's to be intimate interaction with everyone) is real important when considering a Live-in Partner for instance. Choosing someone your pre-existing Partner(s) don't like or that don't like them won't work out in the long run for example. Common sense in these things goes a looooooong ways

For me and my experience Poly Relating is True to Who I Am, and easier than other styles for me for that reason. Poly Relating eliminates the need for disHonesty and cheating and denial of Love for another person. Because relating with others or having the capacity to, is all supported by agreement. This is not to say there aren't cheaters in Poly, there are, just not as many. This is not to say there aren't relationship issues just as any other style, just not these usually. For me Poly allows me to Live my Life Honestly and Openly, and to Love whom I Love without having to give up someone else I Love to do so. Another thing I consider valuable is the Choice involved. The people you are with and the ones who are with you Choose to be there. A concious Choice Every Day. It's not one that has the contraints of a legal paper (since there aren't any right now) that says you are tied to this person. I find special value in a person being with and sharing Time with me because they Want to be and Choose to be, not because they feel they have to be. And also that the option is always there that anyone can leave at any time they so choose. While yes that is a bit scarrey too, that is the True Reality in any Relationship, and denial to think it's not. Divorce is simply paperwork away for those who Choose it. I think people work harder in Poly Relationship(s) also for this reason, because there is really no option to take for granted, or become lazy in relating. Poly keeps me grounded and real and on my toes to succeed with those I Love, and causes me to constantly Choose and re-Choose Honestly and Openly to be with those I Love every day.

Finding the right person is not all it's about ~ it's being the Right Partner I believe.

Respectfully, SidheWolf