Right way to go about certain things.

[davidnhisgirl]

I have a live in submissive who is also my fiancee. I was wondering if I wanted certain things done by my submissive ie: sex, should I ask for it or should she be ready at all times.

As far as anything else that I could possibly want done around the house or that I need something should she be asking me often if theres anything she could do for me or should I tell her what I need more often than not.

As of right now we do a little bit of both. I was just wondering if it should be one way or another.

Thank you,
David

[~hellish one~]

There's no one right way to do everything. It just depends on your relationship and what you guys are comfortable with. Mainly, what YOU (and her as well to an extent) want.

Do you want her to ask you more if you need anything? Or if there is anything she could do for you? And if you want her to be ready for sex, play...etc all the time, then just tell her that you expect her to always be ready to see to your needs. If not and you prefer to do a little of both...that is fine as well. Maybe instead of telling her to be 'ready' 24/7...you could pick a day in particular...start out slow.

Anyone that tries to tell you "this is wrong...there is only one right way to do this" blah blah blah... Yeah...they are blowing smoke outta their ass just to see if they can make smoke rings! Don't listen to em! Just focus on doing what is comfortable for you and her in your relationship.

[MrDom]

you guys need too set down and communcate that the best way too settle thing. You just don't do it once you do it all the time. We will use sex for the example of things too talk about. If you want her avaible all the time the this is what you talk about if you want task done on a daily bases the talk too each other everyday


MrDom

[TomOfSweden]

Sounds like you're afraid of seeming weak or not dominant enough if you admit to her that you don't know these things. Don't be. Whichever quality your submissive fell for, I'm sure it's a lot deeper than this, especially if she's your fiancée. Just ask her what she wants. If she doesn't know you need to explore it together. Most importantly, you need to figure out where you want this to go. I'm fairly certain that there's nothing more frustrating for a sub, than a Master who doesn't know what he wants from her.

[Guest 91108]

I agree there is no right or wrong way.
Communication is key regardless of what level of relationship D/s there is.

[jeanne]

I really like this thread - it's so hard when you start thinking about doing things the "right" or "wrong" way - what everyone else says is completely true - the right way for you both is the way that works for you both! My husband and I are moving very slowly in this and figuring out what works for us as we go along. I have promised him that if we do something that I don't like/enjoy/feel is necessary, that I'll tell him, either immediately or the next day. (Immediately if I'm really, really hating it - the next day if I don't like it but can bear it for him.) This slow pace is giving us both the opportunity to get more comfortable with the D/s dynamic in our relationship and talk things through as they come up. Trust yourself and trust her - you'll figure it out! As our good friend tessa says - "It's not perfect, but it's perfect for us". I completely agree.

[Tasker]

I pretty much agree with what everyone else has said here. Communication is the key. Define what you both want out of the relationship, and find what is going to work for the BOTH of you.

What ever works for both of you and make you both happy is going to be the right way. Enjoy the journey and good luck.

Regards,
Paul

[Sir_Russell]

just remember 3 left turns makes a right

[Logic1]

and remember also that every girl loves when the guy can communicate with her.
nobody knows everything and asking for what she thinks and wants can only be a good thing for the both of you.

(perhaps not every girl but you know what I mean)

[Sir_Russell]

Have you two sat down worked on the hard limits questionaire that I put in this section? Then you need to sit down and work out a contract spelling out what is right for you both.

morgan and I spents nights working out our first contract but let me tell you it helped us tremendously.