Caring for yours and your own.

[Eraser]

Recently life has been rather hectic for myself. For the last 2 months I've been rather regular in my postings. The last few weeks just after thanksgiving I've been rather overwhelmed with my responsibilities.

The reason I am posting this thread isn't so much to explain my absence but more so to show an example since there seem to be this assumption that "training" means no relationship or is "cold" or there is no caring involved etc.

Some specifics about my personal life, I have a total of 4 slaves. My wife who's been with me for 9 years, and my personal slave. About 3 months ago I acquired (for lack of a better phrase) a pair of slave sisters that had been basically abandoned by there owner; who literally disappeared, no calls no nothing after 3 months of no contact with either of them they were confused. Though seen on-line and active, read receipts for emails sent, speaking to other friends on-line and playing in public settings. Then came on-line released one girl and told the other the need to "figure out" what to do with her as well. a month later no word no reply no contact again the other girl begged her own release to no reply no response nothing. A month later she considered herself abandoned.

Both of them came to me asking for something, they had lived a 24/7 existence focusing and a rigid structure and schedule and now had no direction at all. I agreed to take them both on for 6 months to give them structure to help guide them and time to heal emotionally. A short time later, both asked me for training after seeing how I interacted with my own girls and the significant difference in there submission and what they had been taught so far. I agree'ed to train them for the remainder of the 6 months but I couldn't take them both as my own permanently as thats just to much to handle responsibly. That and the fact that one is active duty navy and lives 90 miles away.

Just after thanksgiving, one of the girls went into the ER with severe abdominal pain, at first it was thought to be appendicitis. She was sent home and told to return in 12 hours or sooner if it got worse. To shorten the story, over the past 3 weeks, she's been in and out of the hospital or ER nearly every day or two with no determination as to what it was until just this week. Ovarian cancer.

During these weeks, I've spent countless hours in the ER with her (each visits taken 12+ hours), driving down daily to make sure she has what she needs and her home is taken care of by someone. During her ER visits I've held her hand through getting shots and IV's (she's scared of needles of all things) I've held her while she's cried in pain, I've hand fed her when she was to doped up on medication she couldn't hold her spoon. As her diagnosis worsens/changes the responsibilities have changed, the care needed is increasing quickly and her mobility is stricken heavily. Everyone in our household has contributed to her care and wellbeing.

We've done this because as trainee, not collared by me permanently, she is still mine. As a Dom my first responsibility above anything else, is her emotional and physical well being, that being in a scene or outside of it. I do my duty and my responsibility as her Trainer to the point of utilizing the resources I have to ensure she has what she needs.

For those of you that want to accuse me of being a braggart as to having more then one girl, the girl specifically mentioned here is gay. We have absolutely no sexual relationship. The other is Bi but leans HEAVILY toward women sexually. Though my wife is bi, she's only ever had platonic interaction with either of them.

And for those that keep saying training has no emotional bond, or has no "relationship" I just have to say, I disagree with you completely.

[GaryWilcox]

That's a good reminder that there's more to BDSM than sex, and more to you than BDSM.

You have my admiration.

[Nightstriker]

*I whipe a tear from my eye.*

That is very admirable and increadibly touching, and like Gary said there is a lot more to the life than sex.

[Mobius]

Your de dom.

But seriusly how can it be 24/7 if one is in the nave and the other lives some were else?

Is there such a thing as a 24/7 online ?

BDSM or no bdsm whatyou have shown us all is basic human compasion.
I hope she recovers and can live to serve again.

[Dngnkeeper]

Eraser

Thanks for sharing this great example. I echo Gary and Nightstriker in their praise. It reminds me of a similar thing here recently when a Dom was diagnosed with cancer and a sub, who he was not involved with, moved in to help him through chemo.

:goldcup:

[GaryWilcox]

I think all people should feel a responsibility to each other and want, even for those who wrong us, health and life.

M.'s responsibility to his submissives is a personal relationship, and in truth, we have no right to praise him or judge him.

It's my impression that he gets something out of those relationships that is deeper than sex, and I understand that, identify with that.

[Eraser]

Thank you Gary and Nightstalker

Mobius: 24/7 is possible even when they do not live here. When the one is not in school she leaves her house at 7 am drives the 2 hours here tell 3pm and then goes home to take of her children and work on other tasks that I have for her at home. The girl in the navy normally comes up most every day when she gets off duty and stays tell early evening then back to base. Since I work from home I am, more often then not, here.

Gary's last comment: Yes we have a relationship that is purely D\s and isn't a sexual one or a oh for lack of a better phrase boyfriend/girlfiend relationship. I didn't write any of that for praise, I wrote it strictly to demonstraight how I interact with my own girls to show countradiction other then argument to those that say "training" or taking someone on just for training means there is no relationship involved.

Yes I get FAR more then sex out of training someone and its wonderful for me, I get to give someone there first taste and experiance in many things and I enjoy the thought of being branded into someones memory as the first in something, so yes I'm deflowering BDSM virgins and I love it. But I also have taken on more experianced girls and enjoy them much the same because I get to be the gardner so to speak and watch the flower bloom. Its the satification and joy teachers commonly feel in a successful student and the pain in a failed student.

[Nightstriker]

Nightstalker

Sorry to go a bit off topic, but it is Nightstriker not Nightstalker.
But thanks for the thanks.

[slavelucy]

i am so very sorry to hear about your friends ill-health, Eraser, it must be a very difficult time for everyone concerned.

Just one thing though, and i only bring this up as you mentioned (more than once) the 'people who think training is cold and uncaring'.....being as i was one of those 'people', i'd like to make the point that i never said, at any point, that a dominant couldn't have more than one sub, nor that genuine regard couldn't exist between a dominant and multiple subs. What the discussion, certainly on my part, was about, was the notion of 'informal and formal' training prior to personal training, with someone who isn't one's dominant. That's all.

i still question the validity of that, but never does it call into question your relationship with your own submissives, how ever many of them their may be, or whatever the precise nature of your relationship with them is.

In terms of THIS thread, you sound like you're doing everything you can for her....i'm a little unsure of 'duty and responsibility' equating to emotional bonding, but i'm sure that's just a phraseology thing.

Wishing you, her and everyone else in your household strength.

sl

[Eraser]

Sorry to go a bit off topic, but it is Nightstriker not Nightstalker.
But thanks for the thanks.

ACK! I'm sorry!

[Nightstriker]

ACK! I'm sorry!

A lot of people make that mistake Eraser, Just for future refrence.