Forgetting

[^firefly^]

Since you lied, I found myself
hearing every half-baked love song
on the radio, and trying not to laugh
—or cry—because I’m not sure I could stop.

Moving on isn’t as easy as you found it
because the slate is never as clean
as it was in the beginning, before you
stepped on my rose-tinted glasses as you left.

Yesterday, in passing, I heard her name, and wished
you well, or part of me did, the part that
can forgive, even if you think I’m still jealous
of the sound of her name on your lips.

But I was never good at letting you go
and have the last word, and I’m always stumbling
over misplaced pride, and the photographs of Cancun
I’m almost glad you forgot to take with you.

I’ll turn the radio off soon, and pack
away our song and the well-worn photo album,
and pretend I’ve misplaced your letter,
but maybe not take off your gold ring just yet.

Just because I’m not as good as you
at forgetting, I can still change, and become
the someone I almost was. Then
you’ll read this, and be sorry
you never knew me
or that you almost did.

[^firefly^]

The above is a poem I wrote for a class, as an exercise, but it turned into something I really liked, and so I thought I'd share it. I was writing from the emotions of a break-up, though not quite the one described in the poem.

As an aside, does anyone else do that? Sometimes things are too fresh for me to write about exactly what the problem is, so I fictionalize it.

And if you get tired of me commenting on my own poetry...well, yell at me. I'm full of comments lately, it seems.

[Dragon's muse]

This is a beautiful work; a magnificent mix of bitterness, loss and regret. Almost a feeling of moving on in spite of one's self. Brava!

i have always done what you describe. i process the big emotional things by using them in a story or poem. The detatchment makes it easier to handle.

[Rhabbi]

^firefly^

How come you did not tell me that you posted this here? It is lovely and evocative of the pain of breakup. You captured my feelings perfectly.