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  1. #1
    self explorer
    Join Date
    Nov 2006
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    US
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    So what's the difference in being a bottom or a sub? a top and a Dom/me? Sorta new vocabualry for me?

  2. #2
    Collared for Eternity
    Join Date
    Jul 2006
    Location
    Georgia
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    Wikipedia has the best articles. This sums it up very nicely.

    Tops and bottoms
    In BDSM, a top is a partner who takes the role of giver in such acts as bondage, flogging, humiliation, or servitude. The top performs acts such as these upon the bottom, who is the person receiving for the duration of a scene. Although it is easy to assume that a top is dominant and a bottom is submissive, it is not necessarily so.

    The top is sometimes the partner who is following instructions, i.e., he tops when, and in the manner, requested by the bottom. A person who applies sensation or control to a bottom, but does so at the bottom's explicit instruction is a service top. Contrast the service top with the pure dominant, who might give orders to a submissive, or otherwise employ physical or psychological techniques of control, but might instruct the submissive to perform the act on him or her.

    The same goes for bottoms and submissives. At one end of the continuum is a submissive who enjoys taking orders from a dominant but does not receive any physical stimulation. At the other is a bottom who enjoys the intense physical and psychological stimulation but does not submit to the person delivering them. It should be noted that the bottom is most often the partner who is giving instructions — the top typically tops when, and in the manner, requested by the bottom. However, there is a purist school of BDSM, for whom such "topping from the bottom" is incompatible with the retention of high ethical standards in the relationships wherein BDSM is practised.

    Within a sadomasochisic context, submissive is only roughly synonymous with bottom. Others opine that a "submissive" is specifically pursuing a dominant/submissive power-exchange as a key element, whereas a "bottom" may or may not be interested (or even willing) to engage in that exchange. For the latter, some have proposed the "pitcher" and "catcher" (borrowed from baseball terminology) as more neutral terminology, with the "pitcher" delivering the sensation, the instruction, etc; and the "catcher" receiving what is "pitched." These are in contrast to the term slave, which is a situation where the '"submissive" in a TPE or Total Power Exchange relationship gives up all control to their "dominant" not just for a "scene" but for a "24/7" continuing relationship.'
    Once you put your hand in the flame,
    You can never be the same.
    There's a certain satisfaction
    In a little bit of pain.
    I can see you understand.
    I can tell that you're the same.
    If you're afraid, well, rise above.
    I only hurt the ones I love.

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