How did you know your role?

[Uncertain_Curiosity]

How do you know your role?

I'm not always submissive but neither would I claim to have a dominant personality.

Its mostly based on those around me and the amount of respect I have for them.

Some men naturally make me feel mmmmm ??? small and quiet others make me want to smack them silly. And I've never been submissive where women are concerned. Is it possible to jump from one role to another?

Ok I'm done frustrating myself and you for the day. I hope.

[TomOfSweden]

Life has knocked the edges off. I've jumped head first into life and most of it spit me back out. I know myself pretty well now.

[DrkRvn]

trial and error... I like to learn and try new things. I tried both Domination and submission, and i much more enjoy being submissive. In the rest of my life I tend to be very dominant personality.

[Uncertain_Curiosity]

trial and error... I like to learn and try new things. I tried both Domination and submission, and i much more enjoy being submissive. In the rest of my life I tend to be very dominant personality.

Actually, that makes a lot of sense. In the work place I tend to be very dominant. But, alone with a mentally strong male I find myself reverting to a more submissive role.

I think I have to think on this a little more.

Thanks for a head in the right direction.

[Havensov]

And i would say the opposite for me... I have a some what powerful but submissive role at work... I work under a bunch of morons... but thats besides the point.

Other then also wanting and feeling the need to dominate from a young age, but i would say that my current work situation has kept me needing to be dominant at home...

[DrkRvn]

I have always had fanatasy about being dominated tortures, expiramented on since i was young, so its probably also part of my nature too.

[phantasy_seeker]

Like others have stated, I too had fantasies, self-bondage tendencies, etc when I was young, before I even knew BDSM existed. Hence, as soon as I heard about it, I really had no trouble deciding what my role would be *g*.

As a side note, though, being submissive doesn't necessarily mean feeling submissive towards everyone. There are many men whom I'd like to smack silly too.

[Talia]

I've a dominate personality...submissive by choice. I love being submissive. I'm also a maschosist. but I also have a wicked sadist side to me too...hell..i'm a paradox....lol You'll never know what I'll do next. *WEG*

[Sir_G]

Trial and error and exploring your inner self are the ways I've found my role. I spent many years thinking I was submissive when in fact all it was was the enjoyment of a little pain. Masochistic tendencies.

When I tried submission in real life I was suprised at how much I found it anathema. I just couldn't do it. I found myself wanting to grab the lady concerned and put her over my knee. I also have never met anyone with a strong enough personality that has had me wanting to submit.

I also think life's too short to limit your self according to someone elses sets of rules, guidlines or even opinions. I say get out and play, experiment and find your own niche, wether it be Dom/me, sub, slave or switch.

JMO for what it's worth.

[Mishka]

I've always had fantasies of being thrown down and "taken" since I was young. (with someone I trust, no rape fantasies)

My SO is anything but dominant. Just passively aggressive. I am in charge of everything in my life, and in the bedroom I had to pull teeth to get anywhere...humilated with begging for it...I threw my hands up and just did not want to be in charge of it anymore.

I read a thread by a friend on another forum. And she had realized the same for herself. From there I started reading. Talking to a dear friend...who was willing to explore with me. Wary at first, but not long before we fell into the roles so naturally. It felt right. Feels right.

[Uncertain_Curiosity]

Thank you for sharing your own experiances with me.

If I can ask one more question. *ya'll know its really NOT the last question right?*

How did you find your partners?

[Havensov]

Fell in my lap...

No really, i was over at her house with a mutual friend. She was reaching for something that her daughter wanted above the couch, tripped and fell into my lap!

[laine]

I knew my role thru what i felt was right.....i consider myself to be naturally submissive i have always been that way since i was a little girl...dont get me wrong.....i can be the biggest brat and sassyass in the world *grins evilly* but the role of the submissive just fits me i cant and dont want to picture myself being a Dominant.

[jennjenn]

this does not address how i found my partner but rather the previous question about how i realized. I never even considered the possibility of being submissive. The idea of whips and chains and blood play danced amuck in my head and it was something that did not in any way interest me (still not a pain girl) A friend of mine was however and upon talking with her about i realized that pain is only one aspect of BDSM and after looking deeper into the subject i realized that i had many things that i did that were actually considered submissive. I grappled with it initially but the more research i did the more it made sense to me. Thank goodness for the internet for teaching so many of us. =)

[jmanque]

I was playing 'tie up' games when I was five, with me the one tied up and at someone's complete mercy- I credit the original Batman and Superman TV series with perverting me. (Naturally, these were fantasy games). I sometimes went to bed pretending I was tied up, and when I was very 'naughty' I'd take off my pajamas and be naked and tied up- and I didn't know a thing about sex until sex education started in 6th grade. When I hit adolescence my fantasies were still about bondage, but with a split as to dom/sub. I think I was afraid that being submissive was ‘feminine’ and rebelling against it. Today I’m probably 95% submissive in my sexual orientation, but that other 5% of the time I just want to strap down and ravish some wonderful, struggling lady and make her mine.

[rce]

My dominant streak has probably been there all the time, I cannot pinpoint a certain time when I "discovered" it. As a man, I feel this suits me. Sometime, I think that if I had been born a girl, I would have become submissive. However, I am such an independent spirit that I need to be in control.

(Do not wonder about my avatar, it is just an image capturing one of my favourite fantasies.)

[Stone]

I have allways been a Dom even when i did not relise i was one i have a very strong personality. I am very aggresive in all aspects of my life.I like to be in control at work and at home.As far as switching to the other side and being a sub hmmmm sure there is some curiosity but alas i would make the worlds worst sub without a doubt.i think no matter what i did my personality would shine through.