Request for advice (Corsets)

[MasterTom]

Hello, I've been a lurker here for about half a year now and just this week registered.

Now some background:

Me & my girlfriend have a nice relationship going on where she submits herself to me to do as I please. And I've had many good sessions with her, I've tied her into few very stringent hogties even and she has not complained.

But now just last weekend I suggested something that she denied from me outright. She said and I quote: "I would rather leave than wear a corset"

This has really left me speechless. I haven't been able to talk to her for the whole week and have been wondering if it was something I said that made her say that.

The thing is... I have to admit I get a aching hard-on by just watching pictures of corseted women and I really would like to see my SO in one too.

It is not like she couldn't wear one, she has some _very_ tight PVC tops that in my opionion almost are corsets, just without the boning.

I hope this community can share some info on about how to approach the situation.

[Mobius]

Originally posted by MasterTom
Hello, I've been a lurker here for about half a year now and just this week registered.

Now some background:

Me & my girlfriend have a nice relationship going on where she submits herself to me to do as I please. And I've had many good sessions with her, I've tied her into few very stringent hogties even and she has not complained.

But now just last weekend I suggested something that she denied from me outright. She said and I quote: "I would rather leave than wear a corset"

This has really left me speechless. I haven't been able to talk to her for the whole week and have been wondering if it was something I said that made her say that.

The thing is... I have to admit I get a aching hard-on by just watching pictures of corseted women and I really would like to see my SO in one too.

It is not like she couldn't wear one, she has some _very_ tight PVC tops that in my opionion almost are corsets, just without the boning.

I hope this community can share some info on about how to approach the situation.

What is her build, is she large?
could she be sensitive about her body and you asking for a corset could make her feal inferer, like her waist is not thin enough.
back off let her know that you love her and would not do any thing to hurt her.... let her know that you love her. And not just her body. get her some longeray and work your way around the corset. introduce it slowly. Get her a waist cincher that is not to tight when she exepts that work your way to the good stuff.
take it slow.

[BDSM_Tourguide]

She might have a very good reason for not wanting to wear one. Have you asked her?

She might just have some misconceptions about having her vital organs squeezed or relocated. She might have some concerns about health risks. You need to ask her why she doesn't want to wear one.

And since Mobius' suggestion is a subtle form of manipulation, I have to disagree with what he's said, which is a rare day indeed. Just trying to get her to do it by slowly introducing it and not talking to her is a way of manipulating her to do what you want.

Now, Stop talking to us and go talk to her.

Have a great day!

[pam]

I have to disagree with Mobius, too. I'd go with that scenario IF you discussed it with her, leading up to the corset, small baby steps, etc. IF she agrees to "try" to lead up to it and it's done with her permission, then I'm all for it. But if she has said "NO" then it's not right, as BDSM_tourguide said, to manipulate her.

You have to talk to her and find out why it's a limit. She may have some misconceptions about them, and you may never be able to have her wear one for you. You then have to decide how important it is to your relationship.

I've actually never given thought to wearing a corset, but I think my initial reaction would be 'no' only because I don't think I'd look good in one. The breath control aspect of it turns me on when I think about it, but when I picture myself in one ... *shudder*

[Mobius]

and make her wear it. yes I agree with TG that comunicatin is key.
100%
Question how did you get her to let you tie her up? did she just do it becouse she knew it turned you on? or was she into it.

If she is into it. yes respect her limits but help her to expand her limits I still say go slow help her. Explore things that floats her boat then come back to yours.

If reading poatry in the park rocks her world. Then do it and I bet her limits will expand.

Show her erotic photo's of corseted women. Explore it with her be non threating. Explain to her what it is that turns you on. To a woman a corset probly looks like boxer shorts.

[Xue Lan]

She has made it very clear she does not have an interest in wearing a corset.

if she tells you that pictures of men in dirty diapers and baby hats sitting in playpens interests her, are you going to agree?

If you want to keep her in your life, RESPECT her.
Never mind the subtle manipulations or gentle approach. She made it clear in the beginning.

There are many parts to any successful relationship. Communication is one, mutual respect is another.

You like corsets, she doesn't. Accept it.

[BDSM_Tourguide]

Do not just accept it. Yes, communication is a must in any relationship. I think we all know that, deep down. Yes, respect is a must in a relationship, even if not as a slut and a slave, then at least as a human being. However, growth is essential in any relationship as well. Without growing a relationship stagnates and grows tired and boring.

This is why people set limits. It gives them and their partners something to work on in the future. The very thing you or your partner might think "eww" today might be the very thing that wildly turns you both on six months down the road.

So, yes, talk to her about it. Mention what it means to you. Ask her what her hesitations are. Then proceed from there. Take it slowly if you must, but at least breach the subject with her.

[Xue Lan]

Tourguide, you are obviously male.
Which part of "no" you have trouble with?
She say "I'd rather leave than wear corset." He not talk to her for a week now. What's up with that? He acting like big baby because he not getting his way, ya?
Pam is right: "You then have to decide how important it is to your relationship."

He should talk to her, yes, but never mind corset stuff. He should talk to her, make peace, and get back to REAL relationship. There are things I will not do, there are things you will not do, there are things he will not do, so why should she be any different?
This boy on right track for losing his woman.

You say: "This is why people set limits. It gives them and their partners something to work on in the future. "
Right! In future!
He want her to wear corset, he should back off. Let her come to it on her own. She will know if it important to him, she will choose for herself.

You also say: "Yes, respect is a must in a relationship, even if not as a slut and a slave, then at least as a human being. "
If you respect soman, you never ever call her a slut, except in play and only if that okay with her. You call your wife or girlfriend a slut in public, what that say about you?

Pah! you need good kick in the pants!

[MasterTom]

Thank you all for your advice, but it turned out to be unneeded.

I should now be taken behind the barn and shot like the ass I was. It turned out that I was played a fool and WELL...

Now I'm sitting here, writing this with a smile as wide as Niagara Falls on my face and having one very _very_ sore bottom writhing in my lap, CORSETED

My little mischievous minx had apparently secretly behind my back found out what turns me on, and then had made arrangements for getting herself a heavily boned victorian styled white corset.

Today she arrived on my house door dressed in the corset, a tight white leather hobble skirt, white atleast 5 inch heels, her hands cuffed behind her back and a white ballgag in her mouth. She was brought to me by one of her best friends who I presumed not to know about what went on in our relationship. She tugged my girl around by a nipple leash!

Presented her to me and wished us a good weekend, then just left. I think I needed to pick my jaw up from the basement, it really dropped from what I saw.

When I had recovered my senses I took her to my lounge, promptly discarded the skirt and put her over my knee. Then I told her that she would get spanked, not because of this, but because she had made me look like a fool in front of her friend.

After I had given her a thorough spanking I released the gag and started to question her. She admitted that what she had done she would require punishment for, for disobeying orders of keeping our 'plays' between us and for refusing flat-out when she herself knew it not to true.

I'll leave now to see what else I can think of doing to my little minx, she's going to know exactly why she should learn to _listen_. I think I will try the orgasm deprivation previously described here, keep her high for few hours and then when she's just a quivering mindless heap of flesh begging for release, let her orgasm

[Xue Lan]

See?
She come to you with corset when she ready. You tell her what you like, she like you, so she happy to do it.
Tourguide, Mobus, all male puffed up.
Communicate, respect, you get what you want.

One question: why you discard leather skirt right away? If you not want it, send it to me, Fox like leather hobble skirts on his woman.

Good for you MasterTom.

[Mobius]

When she did not have a problem getting tied up into a hogtie.
but had a shit hemerage about something as minor as a corset.
Love the story looks like you have a winner on your hands why dont you mary her.

[BDSM_Tourguide]

We're going to cut out all this sexist crap right now before we get the next male vs. female debate going on in these forums. Yes, I'm a guy. Oh no. Heaven forbid.

However, communication is jey on BOTH sides of any relationship, BDSM or otherwise. The way to approach subjects is to talk about them. Don't believe me? Try shutting up for awhile and see how your partner reacts.

And yes, limits are there to be pushed. What else would you need limits for? Now, hard limits are one thing, but soft limist are another. Like I have said in many posts before this, leave your mind open, because the thing that makes you go eww today might make you go ohh in six months.

So, be polite, be nice, limit your responses to the topic at hand, knock off the female-superiority rhetoric and try reading peoples' posts for what they are, rather than looking for something to be offended by.

[redEva]

congrats MasterTom - that was wonderfull, but she should be punished hehehehehe! and laced as tight as it would go!

[MasterTom]

Hello again all, you might get a surprise later in the coming week from me.

Here is a teaser though:

I tried the orgasm deprivation on her, and after few hours she WAS quite literally just a mindless quivering heap of flesh trying anything she could to convince _me_ to let her come. After I thought she had been through enough I only needed to touch her clit and she quite literally exploded. I really thought she would pop a joint or something while fighting the restraints during her climax(es). She actually passed out from the force of it(them).

After she had regained her wits I presented her a choice:

1) to describe what she had gone through from the moment she stepped into my house.
2) go trough that again and this time I wouldn't let her come.

Quite understandably she chose option 1

She slept over 14 hours after that and as she woke she told me that she'd do gladly anything I would require of her if she could avoid that again. She though admitted that she had never in her life experienced such violent orgasm(s). But she was more afraid now that next time she might actually hurt herself in the process.
------------------------------

Then to reply some other posts in this thread.

BDSM_Tourguide
You are obviously very experienced in this area and have much respect for you. I'll gladly accept all advice you can give me if/when it's again needed.

Xue Lan
While I don't disagree with you, I must say that you are not the person I would like to listen for a longer time. You yourself must learn some control (over what you say or not say).

Mobius
I may be the Master in our relationship, but we are not 100% into D/s, it is something we do when we have enough time and the right conditions. So I will not force her to do anything, anytime.

[Kostly]

Deleted because I actually kept reading...

And I was wrong...

Good job

[Xue Lan]

Okay, I read through the forum again, more slowly this time, and more close too. I was in a bad mood, became angry, and said too much.
I need to apologize to Tourguide - I read again what he said first time, and realized I make a mistake. Sorry Tourguide.

Now, as to male-female thing, I am not saying one is better than the other. Please do not misunbderstand. I thinking that MasterTom needed to work on relationship, which is two people. That's where respect comes in.

I mean what I said about calling someone very rude name. It says more about person saying it than it does about person being called name. We all need to remember that.

Tom, good luck. I still want that hobble skirt.

Last thing, then Fox and I are going to disappear for a few weeks.
redEva, where you get that picture? hubba hubba hubba.

Tsai jian

[Kostly]

rED eVA and her hairy people...

lol

I love you girl:-p

[Mobius]

Originally posted by MasterTom


Mobius
I may be the Master in our relationship, but we are not 100% into D/s, it is something we do when we have enough time and the right conditions. So I will not force her to do anything, anytime.

I don't believe that I said force her to do it. I am sorry if it come out that way. What I meant was to work with her to help her over come her limits through cooperation
I said she is a winner you should marry her.
But I am glad it worked out

[TazDaddy]

did any of avre see a show on tv called laddey rawhided (sorry abot the spelling btw learning desaveld don't ya know) she whor a corset on the out side and how abot x-man books wonda the red wich has one on most the time, or the same more so with the wight queen, some place is no one would look twice if you go even too a formal ball in a corset on the out side if it one like thows two had so thats some thing too thnk abot

[Xue Lan]

My Master Fox has instructed me to write this as part of my punishment for misbehaving and being rude to BDSM TourGuide. Because I am an unworthy slave, I will obey my Master’s command.

I have apologized to TourGuide for my bad behaviour. A friend mentioned this to Sire Fox He is Master, and he devised suitable punishment. This is what happened:

When we come back from the beach on Monday, He said to me to get a long dress and to wear it out for dinner. I picked one from my closet, and He approved. The dress has spaghetti straps, and the skirt is loose and flowing at my ankles. I wear high heeled sandals and no stockings.
Sire took me to a nice Italian restaurant with a patio. We sit outdoors. He is carrying a bag, and when I ask Him, He says it is a surprise for me. i ask what kind of surprise, and Sire Fox says “it is a wish come true”. He hands me the bag, and I look in it. I am very excited, then I see that it has leather straps and locks and a short chain. I say “what is this?” knowing what it is, and Sire Fox smile and say” your hobble, xue lan”. Then he tell me to go lady’s room and to put it on.
I come back to the table, making mincing little steps, because I am now wearing thigh cuffs locked to my legs and locked together in the middle, so I can’t move my legs very far. One end of the chain has snap for my labia ring and other end locks to the cuffs too, so my lips are pulled which is uncomfortable when I walk.
I come back to table and Sire Fox, he smile and pull my chair out for me, and kisses my cheek as I sit down.
“It’s not a leather hobble skirt, xue lan,” Fox say, “but it will remind you to behave better.”
“Yes Sire,” I say, putting my head down like a good girl.
“When we get home you will be spanked,” Sire Fox says.
“Yes Sire,” I say embarrassed and looking forward to it.
Master did not tie me at all when he spanked me. I had to hold one of the corner posts of our bed while he paddled my bum. He did not unlock the thigh cuffs all night but He kind and released my labia ring when we get home from the restaurant.

Now I must write this and then I can come to bed with my Sire. He is laughing because I must stand up to type. I am sorry Tourguide and MasterTom and everyone. I will learn to mind my manners.

Humble servant
xue lan

[redEva]

Originally posted by Kostly
rED eVA and her hairy people...

when did hair come into play? im confused - can you elaborate on this one? please?

[Mobius]

Originally posted by redEva
when did hair come into play? im confused - can you elaborate on this one? please?

Are you refering to Pam and her hairy avitar?