If you like it is it punishment?

[master_kyrk1]

During the pain thread several people mentioned or at least I understood it to mean that when they are punished they enjoy that form of pain. To me a punishment is an act that causes negative reinforcment of a behavior. By that I mean that if you do something wrong a consequence is chosen that will encourage you not to repeat that offense, i.e. spanking. To me if you get pleasure from the punishment that defeats the intended purpose. One could argue then that you may misbehave to intentionally get punished. In the case of one sub I had who liked spankings I would not spank her as punishment.

Perhaps I have misunderstood the meaning of several different people. Then again there may be a new way of looking at this I have not considered would appreciate any feedback.

[Ruby]

Very valid points. There are many who look forward to a "punishment", perhaps using that term to define a spanking or something else they are seeking. However, being totally literal and anal sometimes - yes, I know, I am - using the word "punishment" doesn't work for me.

For me, it's simple.

A punishment should be something the person doesn't like.

A reward is something they do like.

For example:

I wouldn't ever reward a pain slut with pain. Heck, I might make them write an essay, take away their toys, or other things that would be considered a "real" punishment. If I was feeling particularly mean, they may be forced to watch someone else get the type of play that they wish they were experiencing.

I would however reward a pain slut with a spanking or other form of pain for good behavior or our mutual pleasure.

Another example:

If my sub was a gamer, I may punish them by taking away their games. (No electronics for a set period of time.)
Ouch!
(This punishment actually works well for my teen boys.)

That said:

There are many couples here on the forums, that use the word "punishment" to mean or describe their play time together. "I was such a naughty boy/girl, master punished me last night and I loved it!!!" Yet, there is no actual punishment involved as they are both enjoying whatever activity they have chosen.

[redEva]

I agree with Ruby on all the points! (Just felt I need to say that! )

[Caitlin]

I agree with Ruby also Red.

Always with words of value from a wise Ruby.

[BDSM_Tourguide]

I would not use something a submissive enjoys as a punishment. What would be the point of that? If you allow a submissive to have something they enjoy in return for doing something bad or wrong, then how does that discourage the behavior from happening again in the future?

[duktig flicka]

Bottom line: If they don't enjoy it, I'm not doing it to them. If I don't enjoy it, it's not getting done to me. That seems to me like the difference between abuse and bdsm, but obviously others don't agree, so I won't pass judgement on those who feel that way.