Safewords, Slowwords, Signals, Codes

[Ranai]

Everyone interested in real life BDSM learns about these.

What do you use?
What have you used?
What have you heard or read about?

Words?
Nonverbal codes for situations when the person who is bottoming can't speak?
Codes used in groups?
Or do you not need any code at all, because you never play at 'reluctant'? And 'stop' in your relationship simply means 'stop', 'no' simply means 'no'.

Any difficulties or misunderstandings you can tell us about?


Safeword trivia

The Danish association SMil has a communal safeword.
'In the entire SMil community “CIRCUS” is the standard stop word. This means “Stop, we have to talk” . We use a stop word so no one is doubt about when it is serious. Of course you may invent your own codes or stop words.'
http://www.sado.dk/sisc_c.html
> What is SM
> Safety

In one of my favourite BDSM stories, Richard Alexander's Monica Series, the characters have a communal safeword for situations when they are gagged: They hum 'Happy Birthday'!

[Sir Lanceloth]

Everyone interested in real life BDSM learns about these.

What do you use?

i guess you mean what tools do I use? if thats the case then it is simple household items if any.

What have you used?

since im just starting my "adventures down this road" i havent used anything in the past

What have you heard or read about?

you mean stories about bdsm? i have read story of O, which i liked a lot. If you mean more serious stuff (like this forum), i have read anything from castle realm to latches, really anything i could find from google (with the 10000 poor porn sites to follow)

Words?
Nonverbal codes for situations when the person who is bottoming can't speak?

well in any play i would stop if my gf eithers says stop or the word we agreed upon which is chocolatemilk (the reason i would stop is simply that she has newer used her safeword yet, so to be certain it all goes well i would stop at stop)

Codes used in groups?

we dont play in groups

Any difficulties or misunderstandings you can tell us about?

the difficulty in my relationship is simply that my gf hasnt used her safeword yet, it makes me a bit worried whether she will have the courage to do so when neccesary.

What is SM
> Safety

not sure what you are asking here. The definition of SM is located somewhere on this wery site. But is it sm safety you are asking about?

In one of my favourite BDSM stories, Richard Alexander's Monica Series, the characters have a communal safeword for situations when they are gagged: They hum 'Happy Birthday'!

that sounds like a good idea. You might want to consider hand signals as well.

[Ranai]

Anyway back on topic...

the difficulty in my relationship is simply that my gf hasnt used her safeword yet, it makes me a bit worried whether she will have the courage to do so when neccesary.

Hmm well, that could present a difficulty, but maybe it's not.

Anyway, I don't really see how you could determine this, unless you deliberately create a situation where you want her to use her safeword. But this could be a very doubtful undertaking, and she might dislike being 'tested' like that.

[Locked Advantages]

Personally with me and my former dominant, we didn't really use safe words or signal, he usually could tell when I wanted the scene to stop but I do know that its safe if safe words are available for one to use so someone could get themselves out of a situation...it really depends on the couple and both of the people involved with the situation

[Ruby]

Ranai,

I thought you'd get more response to these great questions.

This is what I meant:
What safewords do you use?
What safewords have you used?
Which safewords and codes have you heard or read about?

Anyone who's been reading on the forums knows my safe words
are easy to say, easy to remember. Perhaps its because I'm so
analytical and my brain isn't wired to mix up yes and no.

So my safe words are: stop, no, that's enough, please don't, red light, and
yellow light.
Usually stop, red or yellow are all I can articulate.
Red is a hard stop.
Yellow is give me a minute, have to say something, whatever it is that I need a break.

Recently I read an article where it was suggested to use the word Mercy in public scening. That way the dom could look gracious while giving his pet a badly needed break. The phrase, Mercy, please spare this slave/sub/pet for another day, was a signal to end the scene.

I've used mercy a few times, but then have reverted back to the standards. :-)

What about when the mouth is stuffed?
There is an angry squeal or sound of pain that causes him to stop immediately and check in with me. I wish I could say I planned it, but T knows those sounds and what to do.

A few taps on the leg usually get his attention, too. That is if my hands are untied. LOL

Reading - I always admire when people use complicated words in their stories like cucumber, sasquash, or watermelon. I'm not sure I could possibly remember those words when I'm drifting in subspace or even totally rational.

Who's next? Inquiring minds want to know.

[bug]

red yellow and green here *nods*

[Ranai]

Any difficulties or misunderstandings you can tell us about? Yes I can. Two non native English speakers trying to communicate. I think I should have revised my original post better. Sorry for the writing carelessness!

This is what I meant:
What safewords do you use?
What safewords have you used?
Which safewords and codes have you heard or read about?

http://www.sado.dk/sisc_c.html
[To find the quote, click on the following words on their website:]
> What is SM
> Safety