Help?

[Micaela17]

Not sure if this is the right place to post this, but I have a question and it's been driving me insane for a while..

Little backstory:
My Dom and I have been together for about 11 months. It's been pretty simple. He never liked subbing, and I wasn't really interested in taking control. Over the summer, we had a little time period where he could not get on the internet to talk. During that time, I started exploring Domme'ing men. i found that I liked it, and wanted to continue exploring this side.. I Domme'd a guy online a couple times.. When my Dom and I started talking again, i told him about my new interest. He wanted me to try Domme'ing him. He did not want me to continue with the other guy (which i totally understand, the only reason I did it wwas because we weren't talking and I wanted to explore.. ) So, long story short, we started switching. he loved it. i... did not. It wasn't that I didn't enjoy being in power. it was just quite unnatural and uncomfortable for me to be in control with him. we have tried it 4 or so times and it has not gotten any easier, if anything, it's gotten harder.. the way i've described it before was that i have a "mental block"

So i guess my question is:
Has anyone been in my place and if so, what happened?
Is it normal to not be able to Domme your Master ?
Will the mental block go away?
What would you do?
Any opinions?

Thanks!

~Micaela17~

[denuseri]

So i guess my question is:

Has anyone been in my place and if so, what happened?

Yep. It takes a rare two people to both enjoy switching roles with each other in a relationship from what Ive seen in real life and online.

Is it normal to not be able to Domme your Master ?

Yes for most people it seems to be and for some reason its easier to submit to one person, but not wish to top them and still be fine with topping others.

Will the mental block go away?

Meh...who knows, maybe if you work on it, though you may also just make yourself and your partner more miserable that way, but at least you will know that switching with the same partner isn't for you then. Not everything in the lifestyle necessarily appeals to everyone else all the time so its not a big deal in so far as acceptance of those distinctions goes so much as a thing to know about one's self.

What would you do?

Try to make it work until I couldn't see it as being beneficial to either of us and then move on. It's a good learning experience and who knows you may be able to make it work out. Your lucky its just an online thing, some people dont figure this stuff out about themselves until they are married for several years etc.

I wish you the best of luck in your endeavors.

[Ozme52]

I agree with denuseri on most of her points.

I happen to believe there is no "one true love" so there's no need to be exclusive in all things. Personally I would work out an agreement with your Master so that he can be topped by another domme and you can top another submissive. If need be, you two could agree to not have sex except with each other... using the switched roles to whet your appetites.

But my girl would totally agree with you. Not only could she not imagine dominating me... she can't even contemplate watching me, or anyone she would submit to, be dominated. Fortunately for her, I have no such interests. weg.

[Micaela17]

Thank you both for your insight!! I'm definitey going to make sure my Master reads this..

[Dog's Lady]

My lover is a switch, and the first time I tried topping him was a bit of a disaster, mostly because he is a totally different sub than I am. I would like to try again, after we have a long talk or two about what his sub needs are as compared to mine. If it doesn't work, then I will do my best to understand if he goes out of the relationship to be topped.
Hope this helps. Good luck.