at what point does a "like" become a "fetish"?

[anxious girly]

Someone here once said there are no stupid questions...

[brwneydgirl]

Good question!!! I was having a conversation about this VERY thing just this weekend with a "local" friend.

His take is that if you NEED it to get off, it's a fetish. Otherwise, it's a "like". We moved on to discussing our "likes" and well...yeah.

[anxious girly]

hmmm...perhaps, but i REALLY like high heel shoes on me, i feel like the bomb when i wear them but i don't get off (although it does make it easier for me). fetish or not fetish?

[Guera]

A fetish is something that MUST be payed attention to, before anything else can proceed normally.

[anxious girly]

and my "friend" says i have lots of fetishes but i've never thought about it. just doing some self searching with a little help from my friends.

[anxious girly]

Guera, payed attention to in what sense?

[Guera]

Guera, payed attention to in what sense?

you stop whatever you are doing, to give this object (real or conceptual) your undivided attention. For instance, I enjoy holding my him by his hair. Not a fetish, I can get on with life without holding his hair. An example of a fetish with me.. a little hard to identify, I am not very fetishistic or religious, but... I don't think I could stop spanking him (within normal limits) if I didn't get some really nice color/marks. If I tried to stop I would probably have to go back and restart, until I had marks I liked. So that would be a fetish.

[Wiscoman]

I think people have "big fetishes" and "minor fetishes." I think the difference between fetish and "like" is hard to pin down. My big one is bondage, for example, but socks, stockings, bare feet, whatever makes it somewhat better. It's icing on the cake. Still, I think that qualifies as a fetish.

Not exactly an answer to your question, I guess, but it's as close as I can come to one.

[naughtyminx]

This question sort of reminds me of the differences between wants and needs and knowing which is which. I would say a fetish is a need. You don't get as sexually stimulated or maybe not at all without that fetish being a part of your play time.

You may want to wear high heels because they make you sexy but you don't need to wear high heels in order to get off. Look at a fetish almost as a sexual OCD sort of thing. You must do it in order to feel satisfied.

[WifeMomSlave]

This question sort of reminds me of the differences between wants and needs and knowing which is which. I would say a fetish is a need. You don't get as sexually stimulated or maybe not at all without that fetish being a part of your play time.

You may want to wear high heels because they make you sexy but you don't need to wear high heels in order to get off. Look at a fetish almost as a sexual OCD sort of thing. You must do it in order to feel satisfied.

I agree, well put. Also, "sexual OCD"....that made me giggle.....nicely worded.

[ppr128]

On a strictly clinical level, a fetish is something that MUST be present/worn/done/etc in order to become aroused sexually.

On a more lay or street level, "fetish" is applied much more liberally, often used to describe anything pertaining to BDSM. So it may simply be a matter of talking about the same thing but using different definitions to discuss it between you and your friend

Being a science wonk, I prefer the former definition. To me, it sounds like the heels (or whatever else) are things that make you feel sexy, rather than something you strictly need in order to become aroused. It seems as though the physical response or emotional state you experience whilst wearing them is more linked to the knowledge (or belief, or what-have-you) that the heels make you look more attractive.

If, on the other hand, you could only get jiggy with it (so to speak) whilst you wore a chicken suit and your partner played Yankee Doodle Dandy on a kazoo and you were on a submarine... well, that would be a fetish, in my opinion.

[brwneydgirl]

If, on the other hand, you could only get jiggy with it (so to speak) whilst you wore a chicken suit and your partner played Yankee Doodle Dandy on a kazoo and you were on a submarine... well, that would be a fetish, in my opinion.

LMAO

[Kuve {Sett}]

Medically a "Fetish" is the eroticization of a physical object that is not normally considered sexual, such as a shoe or a specific body part. When we eroticize an act or situation, as with spanking or being bound, it's called a "paraphilia". In either case it's only considered a problem when it interferes with one's ability to function in a normal social context like holding a job. The idea of a "fetish" being distinct from a matter of taste dates back to Freud and Kraft-Ebbing who defined any sexual tastes other than those approved by Victorian morality as a form of mental illness. In practical terms today, the only real difference between liking something and having a fetish is that a fetish is understood to be sexual in nature.

[anxious girly]

ooh, me likee. very interesting how everyone sees it!!!

[Guera]

What you (all) are talking about is a sexual fetish, which is just a subset of all fetishes. Fetishes exist in personal behavior and also in most (all?) religions. Think of rosary beads or a scapular. Also, even cell phones are a fetish to many people. Feel naked without em.