Keeping in touch with Doms/Dommes

[angel2536]

Would welcome people's opinion on the following:

How do you feel about your partner keeping in touch with Dom/Dommes they have played with?

I have a few Dom friends who I keep in touch with. I didn't have "relationships" with them as such but was involved on a purely "play" basis. Master is fine about me keeping in touch with them but sometimes I feel a bit guilty about doing so.

They are friends and personally I wouldn't think it was right if Master banned me from speaking to them. It's only because they got closer to me than the "average" friend that I feel a little awkward about keeping the contact. I'm not saying for a minute that I feel guilty because I think that something might happen it's only because of the intimacy we shared before.

Take vanilla relationships for example, it's not always the case that you stay firm friends with ex lovers.

Sorry if I'm not making any sense here. I just wondered if anyone else has the same issues?

Angel x

[Carmenica Diaz]

I would forbid it.

[fetish101]

forbid it????

come on! If you shared such a close relationship, they're a part of you, like it or not. If you're able to maintain a friendship level relationship, why not??

I'm friends with all my ex girlfriends...albeit not all close friends. None of them are bdsm relationships, granted, but all the same what's the big deal in keeping the friendship?

In my opinion, if a dom, or for that matter any person in a relationship, has a problem with their partner keeping in touch with their past lovers, masters, subs etc, then I would humbly suggest that they do not have full confidence or trust in their partner.

I would suggest that jealousy is borne from an initial lack of trust in a relationship....of course this is just my opinion. Take it with a grain of salt as it were...

[ValKyrie]

I think it would depend on the relationship. If there seemed to be any potential for this previous Dominant to interfere with My training of and My relationship with My subbie, I would forbid contact.


My view has nothing to do with lack of confidence in My sub, rather, it would be a lack of confidence in the previous lover.

Now, if this person were someone I knew and trusted, that might be different or if they were simply play partners.

[pagan switch]

Well, I understand the urge to stay in contact with past play partners, but as a part-time domme, I also understand the need to feel like your sub is yours (unless you have some other arrangement). I think the best thing to do would be for all involved to be in equal contact with said past partners, not just the person who was formerly the sub. Could be informitive for the current dom/me too.

Naturally, that's just what worked for us. May not be the best thing for every couple. YMMV

[Finding_Fantasy]

I can't speak from the dominant side, but I can do so from the submissive side.

I would definitely have a problem with a dominant telling me who I could or could not associate with regardless of my past relationship with them. I would hope that my dominant would have enough trust in me to know that I would keep my relationship with them on a strictly platonic level. I would also hope that he would also be secure enough as well.

Personally, I think it is very wrong to forbid anyone contact with another person because we need other people to socialize with, to talk to, and just plain old have around other than our present partners. Granted, I am not really friends with any of my past boyfriends but that is because all of them ended badly.

If my dominant asked me, not ordered me, not to see someone, and gave me a dmaned good reason for it, then I would consider it. But I would rebel at being ordered...or forbidden as it has been put... to see them.