after talking about this on chat it was suggested i post on here, so here i am. I feel like I'm going mad, so any advice would be appreciated.

Background. We have been together for 5 years, we live together. I am a sub.

I introduced him to the lifestyle and he was happy if not relieved as he said he felt the same way and had always secretly desired that sort of relationship. He bought me a collar and rope etc. Tried things out and it worked really well. But now my collar sits on the shelf, the toys are in the cupboard, and he doesnt seem to want to know. We barely do anything anymore vanilla or otherwise.

I know you are all going to scream talk to him at me, but believe me we do, he says he does really want it, he says he does love me (trust me he does mentally and friendship wise there is no problem). He says that hes just been a bit stressed lately (but lately has turned into years)

he says that hes just learning so hes not always sure what to do but he does want things, says all the things that give me hope and then nothing materialises. I dont want to leave, i love him, hes wonderful and the D/s thing was also wonderful when it was actually happening.

I just dont know whats going on, I dont know what to do, I feel like im going to explode. Am i just kidding myself that hes into this, because for me its not somthing that i can just put down and ignore. Is there somthing i can do to help or should i just give up?

When you Doms were first getting started was it a rocky intimidating road that took you a couple of years to be comfortable with, or is him feeling like that telling me somthing?