I was having a conversation with some people and we were trying to decipher what classified a person as a Dom, sub, or switch. You know, usually when someone is uber new to the lifestyle, that question arrises in a chat. The new person will ask "Well how do you know whether you're a Dom, sub or switch?" Now you'd think this would be a no brainer. But we were really going at it. The people I talked to said that you can still be a Dom but be dominated every now and then. I said that that wasn't true. A Dom who has submissive tendencies is not a Dom but a switch. That's pretty much the definition of a switch. Someone who has the tendencies of both Dom and sub. Matter of fact, that's how one is supposed to identify their own orientation. They look at their preferences. Are they Dominant or submissive? If they are both then they are switches. But they refused to acknowledge what I thought was fact. So many people disagreed with me and not it's gotten me confused.

Wouldn't you treat it just like sexuality? Even if you like the opposite sex, if you have a sexual interest in your own sex, you're automatically bi-sexual. That's just how it works. If you are a girl and have an inkling to kiss another girl then you are bi-sexual. Because you know what lips feels like. Guys have lips, too. So the fact that you specifically sought out a girl, even though you claim to like guys, makes you bi. I don't believe in (not an advocate of) experimentation but I do acknowledge it when others claim to be exploring their sexuality. But you can't sit there and tell me you are straight after kissing someone who is you own sex. You can say you're curious. You can say you are just testing the waters. but you cannot tell me you are heterosexual when you are messing with those of your own sex. Isn't that what being bi-sexual means? To be interested in both sexes?

Honestly, if people refuse to follow this logic, then what's the point of the titles? If someone comes up to me and says they are a Dom, what does that really mean? I know it means that that person has dominant tendencies but what I don't know is whether they do or don't have submissive tendencies as well. The fact that I would have to ask such a question would defeat the purpose of the labels. I don't want a guy telling me that he's straight after I just saw him dancing with and touching all over another guy. Because then the meaning of straight becomes diluted. Now how much sense does this make?: You don't have to be 'straight' in order to be straight. Someone please help me explain.