This thread isn't about what kind of candle to use or how long someone can be tied without causing damage or anything like that. Those things are useful and I don't say they aren't, but in my opinion they take a back seat to the safety of being with the right person. Sadly our way of life attracts those who would emotionally and physically hurt someone with no regard for the person they are hurting. In r/l it's usually easier to spot these guys (and it's mostly male dominants I'm talking about here) than it is online. Anybody can present himself as anything over the net and this thread is here mostly for people who are new to our "thing" and might be duped into doing things for someone who doesn't really give a shit. Very few of the things I'm going to talk about are absolute, but they can be warning signs that all is not well with the other party.

Things to watch out for:

The first contact being an order.

A PM, email, or IM communication that orders you to do something right away. This is usually somebody who doesn't have a clue about d/s or somebody who assumes you don't have a clue and wants to exploit you. Tell them to take a hike. You may be submissive, but you aren't a toy to be played with. Well until you give permission for that anyway.

Personal Ads asking for pictures/stories/suggestions/etc . . .

Usually these ads are just guys trying to get their rocks off at your expense. If someone has a genuine interest in finding a partner then he will show it in his ad. Be wary of ads that give no real information and ask for something at the initial contact.

Responses to personal ads that are too aggressive.

Now dominants are supposed to be in charge, but that doesn't mean we aren't also polite human beings. Responses to your ad that say things like, "Come to me and I'll make you cum." without any backup info are usually the same kind of guy as above. And ditto the orders right away in a response. "I saw your ad, now send me a picture of your cunt." Yeah these guys need to get the hell out of dodge.

IM conversations

Okay so the guy sounds human and half-way intelligent so you agree to chat with him and five minutes into the conversation he wants you to turn on that webcam. STOP! DESIST! The webcam should stay off until you really know the guy you're talking to. There's no reason for a webcam in a "get to know each other" conversation. And if you figure "What the hell? Who cares if he sees me?" that's okay, but remember it's easier for him to get you to do things on that cam when it's on. Many of these trolls are good at manipulating people. Especially submissive women.

Personal Info

The guy wants your name, address, telephone number etc . . .but won't give his. That's a big no-no. Anyone can want their privacy, but if he ain't willing to give it up, you shouldn't either.

I'm married but . . .

Now this one is tricky. Many of the people here are married and looking for something extra and I can't condemn that. I'm married, but my wife understands that I'm not-nor could ever be-sexually monogamous. I was upfront about that when we met and it's proved to be not only accepted, but in some cases a hell of a lot of fun. What I'm talking about is the promise guy. I'm married but I'm leaving her next month/year/decade. Yeah suuuure you are buddy. Now I'm sure that there are guys out there who really are leaving their wives, but at some point you have to ask yourself if you want to be the "other woman" for the rest of your life.

I'll be adding to this as I think of things and I invite anyone else to do so as well.