Domme/Dom v M/F

[Guera]

I have been making it a point to attend "Leather Community" events, lectures, muches, play parties, etc... Sometimes it is a chore, since I am not a very social person and I really detest parties. Overall I would say they have been very helpful and educational (and it makes these events so much more bearable if I frame it that way... hmmm... maybe my fetish can be walking around with a notebook and a quill pen and various medieval scientific lab devices... rofl... can anyone say "pre-tense-ush"). So, I have met some great people, everyone is nice, standard disclaimer.

But I digress.. my him does not go to these events, for reasons that I respect, and I do not feel angry nor do I start thinking about finding a new him because of this. However... I am a single female as these events, which apparently makes me fair game, though haven't had to put up with any of the crap that some submissive-oriented women have to deal with. Then this post would be a rant.

The sub males who have approached me have always been respectful and polite and non-aggressive.

The issue I have is more with Dominant men. I have never had anyone imply that THEY are the one who will switch me, and every Dom male I have dealt with directly, has been likewise polite and respectful. But... the ones who approach me, often seem to want to try to forge a more "vanilla" relationship. Maybe I would like to "cuddle" with them sometime? Maybe we can go "hang out" or "have dinner and go to a movie or a concert"? Or,for whatever reason they want to sit quietly at the same table as I do, and do gentlemanly things, just to be there. (hmm... when I think about it, that to me sounds like they are indicating submission... now thats weird-y-poo. these are not all the young fresh faced "look at me, I have leather pants" types.)

For the most part, I think these men are just reverting to how they were taught to deal with women when they were young, because they lack any other social model. My main instinct is to either ignore them or tell them to go away, which I don't think is fair- they are doing their best, they at least deserve a polite response. As I mentioned, I avoid parties if at all possible, so I have never developed the "normal" social skills involved in talking to strangers at these type events.

What should I do? (sorry, tall order)