When I was new to BDSM, a huge and heavy question pressed in my mind. What is the difference between use and abuse? Or, what is the difference between being used and being abused? I figure, since it was a pretty demanding question in my head, it might also be on the minds of others as they enter this world of BDSM.

Here is my answer. It is not the only answer but it is the one that came upon me through the years.

Abuse is simply when someone oversteps your clearly set boundaries, limits and or limitations without your consent.

Use is staying within those clearly set boundaries, limits and or limitations until consent is given to step over them.

A good Dom(me), Master or Mistress will never push you past your boundaries/limits and or limitations unless you consent to it.

An abusive Dom(me), Master or Mistress will ignore these boundaries, limits and or limitations. And, in fact, in doing so, they are abusing their title and disgracing those who have earned the title respectfully.

If anyone wishes to add to this, or speak of your experiences in this area (good or bad), please feel free.