Seek and you will find, ask and you will know
How many of us have had a fulfilling D/s relationship that eneded and then find ourselves not whole?
I have wondered for a long time what is missing within me, strange as it sounds I think I have figured it out.
First I thought it was my job so I transfered to another unit in surgery to become a recovery room nurse. That wasn't it, not my job. Then I wondered if it was about the money, obviously not since nurses don't make squat.
My marriage? Nope, in tact, plenty of good 'norml' sex with hubby. Kids going off to college, no problem there.
Have you even felt like your breath had been taken away, or you had fallen someplace and couldn't be found? I crave that which I have known, it gave me life, my soul was alive.
I gave my feelings to someone who took them and then gave them back, but they were whole. They went back inside me whole, I was whole. Has anyone ever felt like this?
I would greatly appreciate any thoughts on this, if anyone has experienced this.
Re: Seek and you will find, ask and you will know
Quote:
Originally posted by Sadorae
Have you even felt like your breath had been taken away, or you had fallen someplace and couldn't be found?
well yes.
My view is that relationships are relationships, whichever roles are undertaken between the people involved.
As for feelings there has been:
-feeling like the rug has been pulled from under my feet.
-literally feeling my knees go weak and this not being related to the 'elation' felt in the throws of passion, more so related to the out of the blue 'I'm not ready for this' and similar..ooh say six months to a year into ' a relationship'.
-having a near anxiety attack whenever 'thinking' back to 'the moment' where it all changed and that eventually morphing into complete self denial for one knows that it opens up wounds and it's best to deny it never really had any substance - the self preservation 'bravado' instinct'.
-the world is moving, buzzing and your just there in suspended animation....
however.. the sense of fulfillment is something that is relative to how a person feels as an individual, within themselves, when things don't progress(due to one person out of the two not feeling fulfilled), or due to some other unfortunate circumstance/event it also might mean that it simply wasn't meant to be everlasting, but had importance as a self lesson, reacquaintence with the self or confronting issues that are ignored. Yes there are moments of 'not feeling whole' but we are the captains of our own ship eventually and we decide where we want to go, we either move forward with a new understanding or we live in the mire of the past or we continually temper all these and take small steps, hoping to eventually find the treasure that we seek, and it might be found if there is faith in that endeavour.
