Pet Peeves of the online community
I wrote this awhile ago, but wanted to share it with you guys for a laugh or two.
For a lot of us, the internet has been the virtual key to the closet door. An all too familiar story I hear, is that if it weren't for the internet BDSM community, most kinklings would still be thinking that they are the only one for miles around who has this kinky affliction.
In an effort to learn more about myself, I use the internet as a great portal for BDSM resource material. It's a great place where you can read about or chat with like minded folk, in an effort to learn more about ourselves.
What I quickly realized over the last 6 or 7 years of online activity, is that even though most of us are like minded, we are not all exactly the same. (a topic all of its own) However in my internet travels I've tried tirelessly to keep an open mind. That being said, I have to admit, that there are some things about the online lifestyle that drive me absolutely batty. Pet Peeves of the online BDSM community that even though I've tried to tolerate with an open mind, I just shake my head every time I see them. I though maybe you'd get a chuckle or perhaps a nod in agreement by me posting a few of my "Online BDSM Pet Peeves" and perhaps add a few yourself.
My intent here sincerely is not to offend, but to share an opinion.
1) The use of the word "one" or "one's" when people try to describe a persons actions or feelings. "It all depends on how it affects one's feelings..." This conotation pops up all over the place and it drives me crazy.
2) At some point, in every BDSM story, you'll read this sentence "I stepped back to admire my handiwork."
3) Political correctness gone bezerk when P/people decide that it's appropriate to make sure T/they don't offend O/others by using ambiguous C/capital and S/small letters. Give it a rest, we get the point.
4) People who reffer to themselves as the third person. (especially submissives) "Sir, this little one would humbly request to go to bed." "This ones stomach is grumbling because she's hungry." ARRRG! I know this is heavy in the Gor lifestyle, but it drives me batty.
5) The need for people to try and impress by using old victorian English while in chat or posts. "How is thou this eve?" Please folks, Hamlet has left the building.
6) Mistresses seeking financial slaves. Enough said.
7) Chat rooms that are dominated by a couple cyber playing in the main chat window. Private message windows are a wonderful thing and free of charge.
8) Unrealistic scenarios of D/s portrayed as everyday activities. "My Dom makes me kneel in the corner on thumbtacks for 10 hours for punishment"
9) Fakes, Professionals and attention getters who aren't into BDSM because they've known for a very long time that they were different, but are here for profit, thrill or boredom alone.
10) BDSM preachers who claim that their views are the way it should be, and you should share in that opinion.
11) The stigma that all submissive men are sissies, whimps and doormats. Some of us kneel proudly and strongly, but only for the right person.
Well I've vented and feel better. I'd love to hear your thoughts and perhaps even add a few peeves yourself!
bent
Re: Pet Peeves of the online community
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Originally posted by abitbent
2) At some point, in every BDSM story, you'll read this sentence "I stepped back to admire my handiwork."
Not in any of mine, but I get your drift.
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3) Political correctness gone bezerk when P/people decide that it's appropriate to make sure T/they don't offend O/others by using ambiguous C/capital and S/small letters. Give it a rest, we get the point.
You should read one of the threads I posted. You'd realize that I, too, have covered this issue. LOL Check it out here. You might also be interested in reading this one.
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4) People who reffer to themselves as the third person. (especially submissives) "Sir, this little one would humbly request to go to bed." "This ones stomach is grumbling because she's hungry." ARRRG! I know this is heavy in the Gor lifestyle, but it drives me batty.
AH yes, the Gor contribution. You know? Gor was neat when it was fiction. It was kinda cute to go "Wow. Now, there's an idea." However, it is not nearly as cute now that it has become a bible for some BDSMers. If you can even call them that. More like D&D players with a bondage spin.
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5) The need for people to try and impress by using old victorian English while in chat or posts. "How is thou this eve?" Please folks, Hamlet has left the building.
It's "How art thou..." Get it right! LOL
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8) Unrealistic scenarios of D/s portrayed as everyday activities. "My Dom makes me kneel in the corner on thumbtacks for 10 hours for punishment"
I agree completely. I guess these people don't have diapres to change or kids to feed, though.
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9) Fakes, Professionals and attention getters who aren't into BDSM because they've known for a very long time that they were different, but are here for profit, thrill or boredom alone.
Yeah. We've had several of these types here these last many months. Fortunately, most of them seem content to leave after awhile.
I, myself, am not a professional dominant, but I do take more of an interest in this lifestyle than many, even if I am unable to practice it as much as I want. I still have an urgent desire to help others find their directions and to answer questions and teach people how all this works.
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10) BDSM preachers who claim that their views are the way it should be, and you should share in that opinion.
Amen, brother!
Re: Pet Peeves of the online community
[QUOTE]Originally posted by abitbent
My intent here sincerely is not to offend, but to share an opinion.
1) The use of the word "one" or "one's" when people try to describe a persons actions or feelings. "It all depends on how it affects one's feelings..." This conotation pops up all over the place and it drives me crazy.
Why would one want to complain about that? ;-)
2) At some point, in every BDSM story, you'll read this sentence "I stepped back to admire my handiwork."
I have to plead guilty on that score (although I do it in the third person); but I think there is often a good reason for employing that cliche. It gives one ;-) a chance to describe an attractive victim who is bound or otherwise arranged in an unusual position that warrants some description.
3) Political correctness gone bezerk when P/people decide that it's appropriate to make sure T/they don't offend O/others by using ambiguous C/capital and S/small letters. Give it a rest, we get the point.
Yep; In B/boccaccio's opinion that's a silly affectation.
4) People who refer to themselves in the third person
See reply to #3
5) The need for people to try and impress by using old victorian English while in chat or posts. "How is thou this eve?" Please folks, Hamlet has left the building.
Such posturings offendeth me too.
9) Fakes, Professionals and attention getters who aren't into BDSM because they've known for a very long time that they were different, but are here for profit, thrill or boredom alone.
But here I cannot agree. What's wrong with relieving bordeom by means of vicarious thrills?
10) BDSM preachers who claim that their views are the way it should be, and you should share in that opinion.
Amen.
Well I've vented and feel better. I'd love to hear your thoughts and perhaps even add a few peeves yourself!
While I took issue with one or two, you covered most of my favorites.
Boccaccio
There is just one problem
There is just on little problem with trying to come up with a different word for it. there isn't a different word for it.
Quote:
Originally Posted by pussy_cat
I'm not trying to be close-minded, but I hate it when people use the word "rape" excessively in the wrong context. Rape is forced sex. I was raped at age 11, and it wasn't fun or erotic in any way. I wish people would come up with a different term for rough, or hard sex instead of using rape. The erotic rape and the crime rape are two totally different things.
I do understand, and I am sorry about what happend to you when you were young. It shoodn't have, and do hope the animal was put were he belongs. Actuly calling him a animal is an insalt to animals but again no other word applies. See the problem. One thing though "RAPE" is not forst sex. It is a savige assalt that uses sex as part of it. It is not "SEX" at all but something that demeans sex and dirtys sex. It is not sex forced or sex in amy way shape or form but something that is a pravershon of something else. And we are called perverts. But that is an other thred. I wish there was some other turm for it but for know there isn't one.
