Acceptence

I was crusing the net, came across this website. It talks about an offshoot of BDSM. Wanted to bounce it off the knowledgeable folks here. See what we think.

Personally Im not sure what to think, sounds like TPE, but the author seems to reject its exactly that.

Thoughts?

V/R
ID

Interesting read...I am interested in the more experienced thoughts too.

hmmn at first glance - "a rose by any other name."

http://lovingdd.blogspot.com/

http://www.herwoodshed.com/home.html

There's a couple of others.

Yes I could never appreciate spanking, then had a correspondence with a lovely lady who got me intrigued.

The whole thing sounds kind of interesting- I don't see Taken In Hand as 'total' power exchange myself. I also don't see it as an offshoot of BDSM- it doesn't involve bondage. It's more D/s than BDSM. It's a fascinating site, I think I may still be a member....

It's interesting because while my wife & I don't engage in D/s play as such or spanking- she is kind of subservient to me. She asks if she can watch a movie, & things like that.

Tojo

"and unlike many in the BDSM community, we stress that the control is real. "

I stopped reading at this (which was pretty early), because it's a simply ridiculous statement. I figured I'd spare myself what I'm guessing was a few pages about how BDSM was a fake, hollow version of what this other thing has to offer.

I don't know exactly what Taken in Hand is, or what IDCrewDawg means when he says TPE, but I do know that beeing foolish enough to make a statement like the above is a bad sign.

TPE means total power exchange, timberwolf...kinda like a 24/7 D/s or M/s relationship where the sub/slave gives all control up to the dom.

No comments from me on the site yet, haven't found the time to look into it.

I found the taken in hand concept quite a nice change for me as I was first beginning to be drawn to a bdsm life. While looking out on the web I would go from more extreme website to the next. The taken in hand idea allowed me to be comfortable that I am a strong female and that there is nothing wrong with wanting to give myself to another.

This let me ease into bdsm and become comfortable with my limits. Which made me a better-educated sub and comfortable with the decision that this was what I truly wanted.

I agree that the website is slightly TPE; however, it does define itself differently from TPE in the physical element of the power exchange. Many in Taken in hand have no sexual difference but subscribe to a more overall submission to the head of the household.

Interesting either way, and it lead me to a community like this one where I feel comfortable with my overall choices I made when it came to my life.

Tae'lyn

I read that particular website and I thought it was complete and utter rubbish. If you look there is an article talking about how the missionary position "The missionary position appeals to many Taken In Hand women for the same reason some other women thoroughly dislike it: because the man-on-top is the male-superior position."

I started laughing so hard at that. Dude the reason that we don't always like it is because after a while it’s fucking boring. I took a quick gander around but stopped after that. It just seems like someone who has some serious issues with women disguising their anger with a front of a life style. Maybe I am missing the point.

He takes quite a few stabs at people who don’t agree with him as well. The whole thing smacks of someone with a traditional Christian background who uses the bible as a reason to subjugate women. I wouldn’t give it any more time than it deserves, which is not a second thought.

"I wouldn’t give it any more time than it deserves, which is not a second thought."

Widget summed up a lot of how I felt. I didn't want to rock the boat to hard being as I'm still pretty new here, but a lot of what I read on that site is the kind of thing that sounds kind of good but has jack shit to back it up if you look deeper.

Also, the comment about taking stabs at those that don't agree with him is bang on.

He's also intentionally long winded as a ploy to make it unecessarily difficult to pick through his mumbo-jumbo (most of which is either raw subjecture or complete nonsense), and I'm quite convinced reading over sections of that site that it's competely intentional.

In short, if I was to offer my genuine opinion, this is the "scientology" of BDSM, and should be treated as such.

Oh wow Widget! :rolleyes:

Yes you have a good point. I thought about it a bit more last night & thought I might add that while my wife is somewhat subservient to me, she's a very powerful woman. She makes mince meat of most guys.

She does NOT take any crap from me- it's a relationship that is very complicated. I've said to her a thousand times, she doesn't need to ask these things. When I'm on the PC in the library, she asks if it's OK to sit in there with me.

If I'm inside or even in the yard, she asks if it's OK to go & watch a video.

Still figuring all that out, after 15 years of marriage.

See when we first met, she was messed up. She was really messed up. I had to 'take control' to some extent, to keep her in one piece. She wasn't really suicidal, but had no regard for her own well-being. She fought like a wildcat for years-I probably would have had a broken nose or something if I hadn't been studying martial arts at the time! Lots of blocking & deflecting practice in the early years...

Power exchange, whether total or not, is a very complicated concept- to gently steer someone into what you regard is a better way of life for them isn't easy. Any fool can intimidate someone, to bring someone's power out more & more & have them still want to submit to you is the greatest challenge I've ever found.

Tojo

Thank you everyone for your views. When I first posted this, I tired to avoid passing judgment so that I didn't skew anyones opinions before they got to read it. I read the entire article, but didn't crusie the site anymore than that. My guess is this person was into a BDSM circle somewhere, and was rejected for their views. So they coined a phrase, and started a group who thought along the same lines.

To me its horseshit. The whole idea about acceptance in BDSM is that we can all do it how we want to do it. If I believe all women are in some fashion submissive, then thats my view, and so what. If I view all women as goddess' and to worship the ground they walk on, then thats what I believe.

I enjoy the diversity of the human race, and welcome those who are different that I, who do things differently. I don't want to be the same as anyone else, to be 'cloned' rank and filed into a group, nicely fit into someones definition.

I am not rich, not poor, not an Adonis, nor am I a Quasiamodo. I am me, and I am happy with me. If you don't like me, and how I do my thing. Well you can get upset, get offended, go create your own little realm of reality and live there. Cause I will give you a very nice 'Fuck You' as you go.

Sorry to get on a soap box there, but the article struck a cord with me.

V/R
ID