Tips for training my online slave

Hello all :)
I was hoping that maybe I could get some tips from all of you as you are no doubt more experienced than I both online and in real life.
I need some ideas for punishments and such that I might be able to use that would be effective over distance.
I looked in the BDSM Academy to find some tasks for my girl but there didn't seam to be any there yet. If anyone has any ideas on some good tasks for her I would really like to hear them.
My slave is 'brand' new and she is my first so I am sort of learning as I go along. I already have a set of 40 or so rules that I am giving her slowly over time and now I guess I am trying to come up with some clever ways to direct her so that she might benefit from her slavery and learn how to serve me.
Any thoughts will be greatly appreciated.
Thanks.

Quote:

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Originally Posted by Whiskeyblue

Hello all :)
I was hoping that maybe I could get some tips from all of you as you are no doubt more experienced than I both online and in real life.
I need some ideas for punishments and such that I might be able to use that would be effective over distance.
I looked in the BDSM Academy to find some tasks for my girl but there didn't seam to be any there yet. If anyone has any ideas on some good tasks for her I would really like to hear them.
My slave is 'brand' new and she is my first so I am sort of learning as I go along. I already have a set of 40 or so rules that I am giving her slowly over time and now I guess I am trying to come up with some clever ways to direct her so that she might benefit from her slavery and learn how to serve me.
Any thoughts will be greatly appreciated.
Thanks.

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Well assuming that you have established a trust between you both then of course there is orgasim denial.

It may be hard to veryfy other than her word. But it will essert its influance on your online sub quite quickly

Good luck
Moby

Ya I have started experimenting with that already. It is very useful indeed its just a shame she doesn’t have a vibrator but I am sure I can have her get one.
I have established trust with her but I am still looking to express the fact that she can trust me through my training of her.

Thanks for the thoughts and anymore will be appreciated.

Quote:

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Originally Posted by Whiskeyblue

Hello all :)
I was hoping that maybe I could get some tips from all of you as you are no doubt more experienced than I both online and in real life.
I need some ideas for punishments and such that I might be able to use that would be effective over distance.
I looked in the BDSM Academy to find some tasks for my girl but there didn't seam to be any there yet. If anyone has any ideas on some good tasks for her I would really like to hear them.
My slave is 'brand' new and she is my first so I am sort of learning as I go along. I already have a set of 40 or so rules that I am giving her slowly over time and now I guess I am trying to come up with some clever ways to direct her so that she might benefit from her slavery and learn how to serve me.
Any thoughts will be greatly appreciated.
Thanks.

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i am very interested in this thread and have been monitoring the replies ..
my feeling is that punishments cannot be physical but rather must be either
tasks which are not appealing to the sub ..
or specific tasks that force the sub to think about the person at specific times ..
don't know if this makes sense ...

Quote:

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Originally Posted by Whiskeyblue

Hello all :)
I was hoping that maybe I could get some tips from all of you as you are no doubt more experienced than I both online and in real life.
I need some ideas for punishments and such that I might be able to use that would be effective over distance.
I looked in the BDSM Academy to find some tasks for my girl but there didn't seam to be any there yet. If anyone has any ideas on some good tasks for her I would really like to hear them.
My slave is 'brand' new and she is my first so I am sort of learning as I go along. I already have a set of 40 or so rules that I am giving her slowly over time and now I guess I am trying to come up with some clever ways to direct her so that she might benefit from her slavery and learn how to serve me.
Any thoughts will be greatly appreciated.
Thanks.

---

Public exposure with pics as proof can make them beg not to have to do that again. As an example, have her ask someone she doesn't know to take a pic of her in a store with her dress pulled up and no panties. And she would have to post the pic in here for all to see. For first offense, she can have her back to the camera, but next offense would get harder and may include other people being in the pic as well. Try some of these ideas and let us know if they work.

There is a difference between tasks and punishments.

It's important for both partners to know which is which and to agree for what things a partner will be punished, if any.

My philosophy is to keep it simple.

For example, I enjoy watching my Nat on the webcam, so I asked him to learn a few poses for me. We both defined the poses and practiced so he knew what would please me. If he doesn't do a pose correctly, I'll have him move around till it's just right. Yet I wouldn't punish him for something like a less than perfect pose. He's an adult.

I've only punished him for very few infractions and more often than not, my form of punishment is taking away something versus giving physical pain.

The tasks I have given him have been simple and doable to set him up for success. Simple doesn't always mean easy. ;) This coming from me, who doesn't do subby tasks, yet when we started our relationship, Nat needed and wanted those tasks to help him focus and concentrate.

One of my favorites tasks, is to have him wear something under his clothes that remind him of me. That way, wherever he goes during the day, I'm with him. You can have your sub wear something like:
* light nipple jewelry
* a particular brand of underwear or bra
* Perhaps tie a small ribbon to the bra
* For a male sub, tie a ribbon lightly to their penis. Light enough to adjust when the erections arrive, but tight enough to stay on during the day without cutting any circulation.

If you want an outside ornament, then any piece of jewelry, item of clothing, etc. that you've picked out, approved, given will do. Just make sure that it's something appropriate to wear to work or wherever.

Nat and I spend quite a bit of time reviewing our fantasies versus things we want to do it in real life. It helps our playtime and give us lots of ideas for future tasks.

For example, it may thrill me no end to tease him with slapping a collar on him and parading him in front of a group of my friends. Or tell him in our fantasy play how he would look and what I would do, who he would be displayed to, etc. It may excite him, also. Yet he doesn't want to do that in real life. So we have a fantasy limit versus a hard real life limit.

Since we are both authors, some of those tasks do come in the form of writing. For example, I may ask him to write about a particular situation or experience, or to tell me about something from his past. While these tasks are not physical in nature, then can certainly stimulate the body. I had him write a story for me and by the time I was done reading it, we both needed some relief.

No matter how hard or easy you want to play, I always recommend setting aside time where the two of you can talk as peers. Where you can say whatever needs to be said, ask any questions, without any punishment for doing so. If something is or isn't working, then it's better to find out earlier rather than later.

Every relationship is different and you have an adventure ahead of you. It's great that your doing your research. Please allow your partner to do the same. Then when the both of you learn more about your needs, wants, etc, its easier to discuss, set expectations and enjoy your playtime.

To your success,

Ruby

Quote:

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Originally Posted by Ruby

There is a difference between tasks and punishments.

It's important for both partners to know which is which and to agree for what things a partner will be punished, if any.

My philosophy is to keep it simple.

For example, I enjoy watching my Nat on the webcam, so I asked him to learn a few poses for me. We both defined the poses and practiced so he knew what would please me. If he doesn't do a pose correctly, I'll have him move around till it's just right. Yet I wouldn't punish him for something like a less than perfect pose. He's an adult.

I've only punished him for very few infractions and more often than not, my form of punishment is taking away something versus giving physical pain.

The tasks I have given him have been simple and doable to set him up for success. Simple doesn't always mean easy. ;) This coming from me, who doesn't do subby tasks, yet when we started our relationship, Nat needed and wanted those tasks to help him focus and concentrate.

One of my favorites tasks, is to have him wear something under his clothes that remind him of me. That way, wherever he goes during the day, I'm with him. You can have your sub wear something like:
* light nipple jewelry
* a particular brand of underwear or bra
* Perhaps tie a small ribbon to the bra
* For a male sub, tie a ribbon lightly to their penis. Light enough to adjust when the erections arrive, but tight enough to stay on during the day without cutting any circulation.

If you want an outside ornament, then any piece of jewelry, item of clothing, etc. that you've picked out, approved, given will do. Just make sure that it's something appropriate to wear to work or wherever.

Nat and I spend quite a bit of time reviewing our fantasies versus things we want to do it in real life. It helps our playtime and give us lots of ideas for future tasks.

For example, it may thrill me no end to tease him with slapping a collar on him and parading him in front of a group of my friends. Or tell him in our fantasy play how he would look and what I would do, who he would be displayed to, etc. It may excite him, also. Yet he doesn't want to do that in real life. So we have a fantasy limit versus a hard real life limit.

Since we are both authors, some of those tasks do come in the form of writing. For example, I may ask him to write about a particular situation or experience, or to tell me about something from his past. While these tasks are not physical in nature, then can certainly stimulate the body. I had him write a story for me and by the time I was done reading it, we both needed some relief.

No matter how hard or easy you want to play, I always recommend setting aside time where the two of you can talk as peers. Where you can say whatever needs to be said, ask any questions, without any punishment for doing so. If something is or isn't working, then it's better to find out earlier rather than later.

Every relationship is different and you have an adventure ahead of you. It's great that your doing your research. Please allow your partner to do the same. Then when the both of you learn more about your needs, wants, etc, its easier to discuss, set expectations and enjoy your playtime.

To your success,

Ruby

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when you say you have used punishments .. what were the punishments you enjoyed using the most ..

i agree that the use of tasks is very helpfull and also
very important for both parties to agree on what is enjoyable to them..
web cams
are great for validating and including both parties in the tasks performed ..

nice note .. well written ..

Quote:

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Originally Posted by jim

when you say you have used punishments .. what were the punishments you enjoyed using the most ..

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I don't like to punish my pet at all.
Punishments are not enjoyable for either one of us.
They are few and far between.

For more information on my pet and me, you can read this link:
Mistress Ruby and Her Pet's Thread
http://www.bdsmlibrary.com/forums/showthread.php?t=3419

Quote:

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i agree that the use of tasks is very helpfull and also very important for both parties to agree on what is enjoyable to them..
web cams are great for validating and including both parties in the tasks performed ..

nice note .. well written ..

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Yeah for webcams!

Thank you for the compliment.

So after being inspired by this thread...I just had to give Nat a task tonight. I sent him an e-mail with some pictures of me that I knew he would like. The note said:

When you get these, I want you to pinch your nipples for me every time you open a picture. Then I want you to reach down and give the tip of your cock a gentle pinch, too. Lick your fingers and get the tip nice and wet for me. Then close your eyes and imagine my lips anywhere you want them. Put your fingers where you want my lips. You may NOT cum. Just imagine that I'm there with you. You may cum with me later. Let me know when you've finished your task and how it made you feel.

Being a very, very, good boy, he did the task with me on the phone tonight and is free to repeat it whenever the mood strikes him. He can't look at those pictures without pinching himself and following the rest of the instructions.

Who's next? Enquiring minds want to know what delicious tasks you've given your subs lately that Whiskeyblue and others can use.

Quote:

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Originally Posted by Whiskeyblue

Hello all :)
I was hoping that maybe I could get some tips from all of you as you are no doubt more experienced than I both online and in real life.
I need some ideas for punishments and such that I might be able to use that would be effective over distance.
I looked in the BDSM Academy to find some tasks for my girl but there didn't seam to be any there yet. If anyone has any ideas on some good tasks for her I would really like to hear them.
My slave is 'brand' new and she is my first so I am sort of learning as I go along. I already have a set of 40 or so rules that I am giving her slowly over time and now I guess I am trying to come up with some clever ways to direct her so that she might benefit from her slavery and learn how to serve me.
Any thoughts will be greatly appreciated.
Thanks.

---

Hi. If you are interested there was a thread here a time ago that explored the things you are interested in.

It is here:
Well the link I posted didn't work so I'll search again and get it up here in a few.

Also, if you have any questions on material I posted just email me.


SirW

Well I can't figure how to post the URL for you to quickly go there but it is in this forum under "Online Training - Help a first-timer".
It began 06-29-04. Hopefully that will help you find it. If not click on my name and then all my posts. Thia will take you to some of the material I posted there.

Good luck.


SirW

I have had many great tasks given to me from my Dom since we met. My favorites are the ones where I get to have orgasms. :) Once, I was tasked to orgasm 10 times in one day. Each one had to be different. I could read a story, look at pics, or whatever I thought would work. I was to do it in different rooms and using different things. After every orgasm, I had to write a brief summary of it and mail it to him.

He has done the same kind of tasks by sending me books containing fantasies that I am to read, mediate on it on how it reflects my own submissiveness and if there are any insights I got out of it. I can masturbate if the story arouses me and I want to. I am to write to him about what I thought and did after each story.

There are practical tasks also that I have to do before we move into real life. Such as there are three submissive positions that I’m to practice everyday. I have to practice for 30 minutes everyday walking in a pair of high heels he sent me. I am on a diet trying to lose weight and to be healthy before we get together. I have to send him my food diary from the day before every morning. On Friday’s I weigh in and send him the results. For every 5 lbs I lose I’m sent a special reward with gives me a very nice incentive to keep going. My favorites are the little gold toe ring he sent me in the beginning weight loss that I won’t ever take off or the perfume that makes me feel close to him whenever I spray it on myself. Oh and the sexy lacy panties were great too!

Those are just some of the things we have done. Because we have a real goal to be together, my Joe doesn’t Dom me very much. We don’t play role playing games or do much D/s online. I do love my tasks because they keep me thinking of him and keep me focused on my submissiveness. Soon I will have my collar around my throat, our first year contract will be signed and the real training will begin. :)


SirW, to link a thread do this. Go to the thread and copy the address from the address bar. Come back here and paste it to the post. That should do it. ;)

Thanks for the ideas so far, and that thread was very helpful.