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My wife and I have decided after two years of marriage to begin a Dom/sub relationship. However neither of us have much experience. We have discussed our desires but I am having problems with the Dom roll. I know I need to be more forceful but I do not want to become overbearing. I am also having difficulties balancing my humorous, sarcastic nature with my newly appointed dominant roll. Any and all advice would be greatly appreciated. Thank you.
-L.D.
This is an excellent article to help you get started, in my opinion. I would recommend reading it with your wife and talking about which parts you both find enticing and which parts you and she might not like, or might not be ready for at the moment.
http://underhishand.com/ds-relationship
PS. Lots of doms have a humorous side. My Master is one, and it's a good thing. I can't be serious all the time either.
I think the two fit perfectly with being a Dom. At least my Master has no problem with that, but I can't really tell you how he does it.Quote:
Originally Posted by laughindead
On a side note, though: I don't think being humorous and making someone smile or love can ever be wrong. And if your wife laughs at the wrong time, well ... it's her problem ;)
Thank you. We've both read the article. And it helped a lot. As for the humor, I feel a lot better.
Imo there has to be a certain level of humor in a Dom. Making someone laugh is a sign that they're relaxed and comfortable around you. And THAT is absolutely essential for a good D/s relationship. So be humorous and funny dont worry about it. The important thing is that you're both have lots of shared pleasures.Quote:
Originally Posted by laughindead
Ps. AWESOME display pict! Who made it, where is it from?
The pic my wife found somewhere online. But as an update we've discussed our goal quite a bit more and I think we have it woked out. But I may be wrong.
It'd an on going journey so don't worry so much about it. As long as you're both having a open conversation about what you're experiencing you'll be fine and have lots of fun exploring and learning.
I thought that was interesting stating about the humor, When I have been in a one on one relationship with a Dom it seems I find the ones with humor and sarcasm which mixes very well with me for Im the same way , where if I was with someone not so humorist id for sure be disciplined lots (yikes) One thing I do but at the right time , is whisper in my doms ear all the Domme things Im gona do to him , truly Im all sub and would never dream of it but it does keep him laughing and (pffft) at me for being so cheeky. as stated above if i wasnt so trusting of him I wouldnt do it , so is a good thing in my book for i can truly let go and be myself , we both learn along the way .
i have been in a new 24/7 role for the past several months but in a D/s role for many rules with a Dom that is extremely humorous. i love the way He makes me laugh but can be serious when it time to be serious. it wasn't always that way, though. i thought He was too humorous too often and i couldn't discuss serious subjects with Him. But we all grow up, right?Quote:
Originally Posted by laughindead
Master has made me laugh harder and more often in these last several months in our 24/7 roles than He has in the past couple of years. He is happier and jokes when appropriate and to the point that i am rolling on the floor but serious when He needs to be as well. He has found His balance and i am proud and happy to have helped Him find it through our new found relationship.
So, there is a place for your humor and sarcastic nature in this. There is nothing to worry about.
software
Another question. Its been a little bit since I've posted, but my wife and I have fell into a bit of a funk and I really want to get back in the swing of things. Anybody have any advice? I mean the whole idea was my wifes but we haven't had enough time to explore, then we just kind of fell away. I want to find our way back. But not too quickly, I want to have a little fun in doing so.
Have you tried any romantic light things...for instance:
Take her to a restaurant, but command her not to use her hands for the duration of your time out (you will get all the doors etc (bathroom of course is hands on lol) and you will order for her and feed her etc. She just has to keep her hands crossed behind her back.
Just an opinion...but, having a humorous side is not necessarily a negative thing. Master Crusher has his moment's of humor...and they actually tend to add to any given experience. For example...our latest scene this past weekend...suddenly, i'm informed that the only phrases i am allowed to utter are "Holy shit" and "Oh, dear God!", lol! He knows I have a tendency to say "Oh, shit" and "Oh, my God!"....so he decided to fuck with me, LMAO! Each time i screwed up and got it wrong, i heard something along the lines of "Eh, not quite.." and got an extra stripe or two....prime evil, lol!
In regards to furthering our bond and keeping that romantic element of closeness...there are a great many things that you can do that are very simple. Just look at it like any other romantic relationship...I love denu's dinner suggestion (Master Crusher has done something similar, and it was verrrry nice.). But there are also just simple things you can do at home as well. Curl up on the sofa and watch a movie together. Add an element of teasing and tormenting throughout the movie...maybe have her lie back with her back and shoulders splayed over your lap, so that you have open and easy access to playing with her (your) breasts throughout the movie. Mess with her later and ask her questions about the plot of the movie, lol! (she probably won't remember a bit of it) So very simple, but you are spending some quality time together...
One thing we've done is when we're out for a walk and can't do anything too obvious, he'll hold both my thumbs in his one hand in front of me, and not let go.
If you're looking for gentle but fun tricks to re-engage the dynamic, something that's subtle but possessive and feels very nice is to hold her wrist instead of her hand. If you're sitting or lying together, or even on a walk just grab her wrist. If you want it even more subtle (walking somewhere crowded) then move your hand lower so that you are wrapping her hand in yours, so that you are still containing her but it looks more like hand holding to passers by.
^ Absolutely! To what Austerus says.
A step further when you have a little privacy is to hold her wrist behind her back. Hot!