What's the game?

I recently signed up to a site called BDSM-date (thir finally persuaded me that I need to find some play toys while she's so ill.) It's a long time since I've had to do with the contacts scene, and I was interested to see if it's changed.

The first new thing that struck me was a large number of supposed femsub wanabe slaves whose adverts ring very false. Not only are they way too good to be true, literally ticking all the boxes for what they're into, but their texts, as well as being seriously illiterate, keep coming up with the same boilerplate phrases. All of them claim to be looking for a full time r/l Master.

I would love to believe that the world is suddenly full of nubile masochistic slavegirls begging to be owned, just as I'd love to believe that someone in Nigeria wants to pay me a fortune or that I've won a lottery I never entered; but what I'm trying to guess is, what's the scam? BDSMdate has a box on the profile called "sponsored," which I assume is a euphemism for "professional," but none of these characters tick that box; so if they're going to ask for money they'll have to do it later when they've got someone hooked. Or are they playing a longer game and looking for a sugar daddy? Most of them, according to their profile pictures, are African or Caribbean, the majority give their location as London but they're all over the place. Is someone coaching them in these incoherent scripts cut and pasted from cheap BDSM porn, and if so, what's in it for them? An enquiring mind would like to know.

Well from what i've seen here, it seems to me as though they may all just be highly inexperienced. Instead of owning up to that fact (saying something like - i'm new to this, not sure exactly what i want, would love to find some to help me figure it out) they're hiding it because they believe they'll be more attractive if they're the "perfect" slave. As you've obviously noticed, it all seems rather fake. i've seen a lot of newbies on this site do similar things. Posting ads for Masters and promising to do "anything" they want, when they've only just entered the lifestyle. i'm not sure if these girls are trying to actually scam anybody. It seems to me as though they're really looking for a Master, but he'll be the one dupped whenever they initially promise him the world only to back out when and/or mentally shut down when he goes to far, because he doesn't believe he is going too far. If this is what's happening these girls are just setting themselves up for disappointment, fright and a bad reputation as liars.

I've seen the kinds of profiles you're talking about on various sites, including CollarMe. While I don't want to generalize, when some posters might be sincere and ignorant, they look for the most part to me like standard issue internet relationship long cons. Spend some time getting to know somebody, and then start soaking them for gifts and cash. Eventually it can work up to getting a credit card or several hundred (or thousand) dollars for travel expenses to come and visit. Of course the visit will never materialize, things go wrong, etc.

This kind of scam is pretty standard on international dating websites. It works pretty well because a lot of men who are looking for relationships online are lonely and desperate, have unrealistic views of what (Asian/Russian/submissive/whatever) women are, and are going to WANT to believe that the blossoming relationship is real. It works especially well with international (and I would imagine BDSM) relationships because the men are thinking of themselves as more powerful/intelligent/sophisticated than the women they are chasing, and are not going to want to admit to themselves that they're being played. So they work pretty hard to justify all the bullshit and the slow bleed.

The thing about this kind of game is that a person can keep several of them going at a time. If the conner lives outside the US in the developing world then the money scammed can actually represent a pretty significant revenue stream.

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Originally Posted by Austerus

I've seen the kinds of profiles you're talking about on various sites, including CollarMe. While I don't want to generalize, when some posters might be sincere and ignorant, they look for the most part to me like standard issue internet relationship long cons. Spend some time getting to know somebody, and then start soaking them for gifts and cash. Eventually it can work up to getting a credit card or several hundred (or thousand) dollars for travel expenses to come and visit. Of course the visit will never materialize, things go wrong, etc.

This kind of scam is pretty standard on international dating websites. It works pretty well because a lot of men who are looking for relationships online are lonely and desperate, have unrealistic views of what (Asian/Russian/submissive/whatever) women are, and are going to WANT to believe that the blossoming relationship is real. It works especially well with international (and I would imagine BDSM) relationships because the men are thinking of themselves as more powerful/intelligent/sophisticated than the women they are chasing, and are not going to want to admit to themselves that they're being played. So they work pretty hard to justify all the bullshit and the slow bleed.

The thing about this kind of game is that a person can keep several of them going at a time. If the conner lives outside the US in the developing world then the money scammed can actually represent a pretty significant revenue stream.

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That's the sort of thing I was guessing at. The stock texts suggest either a central organiser coaching a number of women, or, if it never gets to the point of r/l meetings, a lone operator with about the same command of English as the average Nigerian scammer.

"But you must learn to know such scandals of the age, or else you will be marvelously mistook." - Shakespeare