Too Young, Never Too Early?

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06-09-2011
GlyntSteam

Too Young, Never Too Early?

I've experience notions of lesser light bondage with my current boyfriend that I have had for 2 years now and he is just now gradually coming into the bdsm scene of dom/sub. I, obviously, prefer to be the sub, but get ambitious and want to switch roles, but am often too afraid. In internet roleplay I can always do things in words without struggle, but in real-life I am simply very shy until I get into it. But does anyone have any info on how a young-one like me could get the man I love, and loves me, to experience this much more? He seems to be my dom by heart, but keeps it secret from himself. And also is there any actions I can begin to take to slowly reach up to that dominant stature, once in awhile? Any suggestions or practices? :d
06-10-2011
ppr128

Sit down and have a heart-to-heart about it. Communication is the key to any relationship, and that goes doubly so in a BDSM setting where you do need to be aware of each other's wants and needs.

It should also be said that there is a dichotomy between loving someone and, for example, pain play or rough(er) sex and the like. It can take a while to reconcile the conflicting desires, if they are indeed there. Likewise, "BDSM" tends to conjure mental images of whips and chains and all manner of darkness; for some that is the way they like it, but if he trends towards the gentler side of things, tackling that concept can be pretty daunting.

But, again, talking will help there.

Other than that, maybe try watching some videos together, discuss what you like or don't like and why? Kink.com has a wide range of styles and settings, so that might be worth a look.
06-10-2011
GlyntSteam

Thanks ppr128. :)

Yes, he is much towards the more gentle side of things and thats what I am fine with, and enjoy. I'll look into it ad talk to him more. Thanks again!
06-10-2011
thir

Quote:

Originally Posted by GlyntSteam

I've experience notions of lesser light bondage with my current boyfriend that I have had for 2 years now and he is just now gradually coming into the bdsm scene of dom/sub. I, obviously, prefer to be the sub, but get ambitious and want to switch roles,

Just for the record, there is nothing obvious about your being the sub, and if you feel you lean more toward the other side, that is just as natural.

Quote:

but am often too afraid. In internet roleplay I can always do things in words without struggle, but in real-life I am simply very shy until I get into it. But does anyone have any info on how a young-one like me could get the man I love, and loves me, to experience this much more? He seems to be my dom by heart, but keeps it secret from himself. And also is there any actions I can begin to take to slowly reach up to that dominant stature, once in awhile? Any suggestions or practices? :d

As is said - open communication. Maybe read this list together? Read bdsm literature together? Articles?
06-10-2011
Austerus

While I feel for you I need to point out that rule #2 of the forum is that you MUST be 18 to participate, and you have self-reported as 16.

By asking for advice of this nature you are exposing anyone who attempts to offer you help or advice to potential legal issues. I sincerely hope that when you are 18 you find the help you are looking for.
06-12-2011
ppr128

>.<

Other useful advice to impart: Be an adult before doing adult things. Like coming here.
06-13-2011
scarlet_85

Quote:

Originally Posted by Austerus

While I feel for you I need to point out that rule #2 of the forum is that you MUST be 18 to participate, and you have self-reported as 16.

By asking for advice of this nature you are exposing anyone who attempts to offer you help or advice to potential legal issues. I sincerely hope that when you are 18 you find the help you are looking for.

Thank you so much for pointing this out :) I was about to offer strong words of advice, but now... meh... go finish being a kid. Come back when you're 18.