Workplace Options

Hello,

I am new to this whole thing, so you have to bear with me. This is going to sound strange and total out there, but public displays of sexuality really turn me on. So I have decided, after reading a ton of fake stories, to try and recreate some crazy things in real life. There is a women at my work who is approximatively 50ish, but has a smoking body. And I know what your thinking 50, really, but I'll tell you what Terry has the body of a 30 year old. Anyway she is divorced and has a few kids who are grown. She was recently talking about dating, but hadn't really found anyone she likes. I can tell she is really sexually/emotionally repressed. This is were it is going to get out there. I have decided that I am to embarrassed to ask her out, plus she would probably say no because of our age differences 25+ years. This is my plan to start, I am going to buy a Victoria Secret push up bra for a C cup, something classy, and send it to her in the mail with a letter stating for her to wear it to work on the next Friday. I will also place a note in the box stating that I want her to go into the bathroom and take a picture of herself in the bra with a shirt on and then without her shirt and email it to a specified email address on the letter. I know I'm crazy and probably will go no where, but I was just wondering if anyone else has fantasized about one of their coworkers and then went for it?

Thanks,

You should be REALLY careful... to me this sounds like a sexual harassment lawsuit in the making...

I guess I didn't specify this, but I was going to do it anonymously. I had planned on sending the package either without a return address or from an fake return address. Plus just to be extra careful I would use a little blue Post Office Box thing far away from where I work and live.

It also sounds stalkerish.

Best approach, and the one women seem to like the best. Be honest.

This does sound like a lawsuit in the making. You think she's repressed and not interested.....so you're going to harass her anonymously in order to make her suddenly fall at your feet?

If you're worried enough about the plan failing so hard that you need to take precautions to try and stop any repercussions, maybe it's better to look at the plan from the start, and start far smaller and far safer. If I knew someone who didn't like skydiving, I wouldn't hire someone to kidnap them and hold them at the door of a flying plane. Likewise, if I knew someone who didn't have an incredible sex life, I wouldn't hire someone to deliver them a highly radical and uninvited sexual gift.

I don't mean to sound overly harsh.....but this plan has a lot of ethical, emotive and practical problems in my view.

This sounds like the sort of plan you see on daytime television, and remember how those always go wrong? The least bad thing that could happen is nothing... she takes one look at the note, goes "Eeeew" and throws the lot in the trash. The options get worse from there.

I was 13 the last time I tried to control people with anonymous notes, and 16 the last time I tried to contact a girl I fancied that way. I learnt better. Man up and ask her out, or forget it.

I definitely agree with the others, this will not end well and is not a good idea at all.

Like leo9 said try to get her attention the proper way, this other path has trouble written all over it.

Not to put too fine a point on it... if you plan on taking control of the situation at all, part of that means having the cojones to approach her with confidence. How likely would you to be to ever take orders from someone who was initially too timid to be up front about the situation?

Hmm.

Best case scenario: she opens the package, shakes her head, laughs and rightly assumes that hope springs eternal for some poor dude too afraid to approach her directly. She chucks out the gift.

Most likely case scenario: you scare the Hell out of the poor woman because, after all, what kind of stalker creep sends underwear in the mail and demands dirty pics? She sits up at night afraid of being alone, afraid of being watched, and afraid to carry on normal or even flirtatious conversations with other men because who knows if they're the one out there trying to control her without even introducing themselves first? She no longer sees a nice guy as a nice guy - he might be some creep gathering intel.

Almost but not quite worst case scenario: she actually goes along with your note, thus proving to you beyond a shadow of a doubt that the woman you have the hots for is actually a complete and utter moron with no regard for her own safety or reputation.

Actual worst case scenario: you get found out, fired, sued and put in jail. You're on the sex offender registry for the rest of your life.

Rethink this one dude - just sayin'.

I know I am new here, and not to jump on anyones band wagon.But you say she is a "smoking buddy" so if you are friends why don't you just ask her out ? I mean you go on about how she is sexually and emotionally repressed, so you either know her really well, or you're grasping at straws. Like the others stated you are looking at trouble, you might also check your works HR rules, I worked in a place one time where any dating between 2 people on the job was Auto. Termination. So before you go leaping because of an erotic fantasy I would do some leg work and checking around first. Oh and even if yu send it Annom. doesn't mean it wouldnt be traceable. Best of luck and let us know how it goes though :D

Yeah, this is most definitely not only a bad idea but an absolutely horrible idea.

I am not sexually or emotionally repressed (which btw, how the hell can you "tell" she is?) and I would be totally creeped out if I received lingerie in the mail anonymously.

Asking her out doesn't have to be a romantic date. Our secetary asked me to take her to the shooting range because her husband (a federal LEO) never would get around too it, and in 6 years in the marine corps she never fired a live round. After that, she switched jobs and said "we should meet up" for lunch, and she wanted to see my house. Lots less risk in a work enviroment doing it this way.

Umm...it sounds a really, really bad plan. Why not just start by asking her nicely to maybe go to lunch with you.