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i am 10 days into my training, and my Master says He is proud of me, as i am doing so well. i don't know how well i am doing, as many things feel difficult, and i have received more punishment than i would would have liked. where should a newbie sub be after 10 days? what is the training of new subs usually like?
Me, I was still living in my own apartment. Dunno where you are.Quote:
Originally Posted by corinya
Joking aside: You can ask 100 people and can yourself consider lucky if you don't get more than 100 different responses. Be yourself, enjoy and don't worry what should be or what shouldn't be.
Same as above: Individual. Hopefully the 'training' you undergo fits you and your Master. Everything else just. Does. Not. Matter.Quote:
Originally Posted by corinya
PS: Say hi to your Master from me and tell him that there are much more effective ways to get a person to do what you want them to do than punish them. Unless you're talking of funishment. Then I hope you both enjoy.
Good luck!
Yep. I agree with lucy. It's individual. And don't worry about being new because after you've had years of experience, should you meet someone new, your training will begin again. Every couple experiences some level of training for the submissive. How else would you know exactly how to treat your master.
Even an old established couple will undergo training as new interests take root, as a reminder of position, or as a reinforcement to rekindle the D/s dynamic.
This part of your post jumped out at me. I had to punish it for doing so, and it behaved later.Quote:
Originally Posted by corinya
Seriously though, you must also remember that a Dominant may want to "punish" you for no reason at all. Finding a reason just makes it that much more fun.
I want to also underscore what Oz and lucy said. Your training is individual to you. What one person may find difficult, another might find very easy. So trust in your Dominant to know where you are, and how you are doing. That is a sign that he's paying attention to how you are handling his torment (not all Doms are so attentive). Trust in his guidance, and let your submission flow from you to him.
Thanks for the advice so far! i should have been more accurate and said, "i have earned more punishment than i would have liked." The correction itself i have received has been just and appropriate.
Whatever your trainning is composed of, it should above all else be: SAFE, SANE, and CONSENSUAL.
A lot of people wing it and or are self tuaght, there is nothing wrong with that. Not everyone can be so blessed as to have eraned their leathers...or their stripes, under an organized and well planned or more formalized setting with an aprentiship.
Just keep in mind that despite all the "individuality" in the world there are still more comonalities when it comes to this than not, however...there is no way to know where you should be, no discription of just what you have been trainned in has been provided or what method has been used, or if your dominant is using any kind of plan at all etc and or what exactly both of your goals are conserning said "training", so its hard to say anything at all...10 days isnt really that long at all, and like lucy said...there is a big dif between an actual punnishment and a "fun"ishment. A lot of people seem to mistake the one for the other and vice versa.
Comunication is paramount between all involved partners.
Does your dominant allow you to communicate freely with him and in turn comunicates freely with you (without fear of reprisal)?
Does he explain it all too you or leave you in the dark?
Quote:
Originally Posted by denuseri
I feel like commenting here that a loving bdsm or whatever relationship is, IMO, not a profession, or a job, or something you study formally to do. Some have chosen that way, fine for them. But to other people, most other people, a relationship is a journey you take toghether, learning all the way.
Please do not feel that there is anything wrong with the way you two are doing things.
Quote:
...there is a big dif between an actual punnishment and a "fun"ishment. A lot of people seem to mistake the one for the other and vice versa.
Comunication is paramount between all involved partners.
Does your dominant allow you to communicate freely with him and in turn comunicates freely with you (without fear of reprisal)?
Does he explain it all too you or leave you in the dark?[/COLOR]
I totally agree that it is important with communication, for example, do you know if your punishments are one sort or the other?
If you are still in doubt, in spite of being told that you are doing well, do talk to him.
Thank you, Everyone for Your thoughts. i hadn't thought about "funishment" before, but i can see that now.
My master is very communicative with me, and always encourages and answers my never-ending battery of questions. He even accepted respectful, but extremely honest criticism with a grace i did not anticipate. He will often explain a task or punishment before hand, although sometimes He will ask me to act and experience before explaining. He is a very talented teacher, and i am lucky to have Him.
cornea i think that training of a sub take both rl and online you can not really know where you are at if you are experience in life.
Having read all the previous posts and not knowing what goals you have set. My questions to you, would be are you as trained as you feel you should be in that time frame? Will you achieve your goal in the set time?
It took me years to find the man who understood me and my quintessential ideas of what power exchange should entail/feel like.. Personally, I will pleasure my sub, make her cum at the end of each session for the first thirty or so sessions, allowing her to lick me or pleasure me manually, orally, or otherwise... but not to climax.. After fulfilling her ultimate pleasures so thoroughly, so protractedly, she will beg and plead with me to allow her the honor of making me cum..
I believe that submissives need to be pleasured in whatever ways they have dreamt about since first touching themselves in order to fully, completely, and totally submit to me, without holding back.. That is what I want, anyway.. The look in her eyes when you know she would do absolutely anything I ask without question.. In order to achieve that level of devotion, she needs to have been brought to sexual, sensual, and orgasmic heights she never thought possible.. She will beg and plead for my cum.. And, eventually, she will be blessed with the honor of receiving permission to continue licking me..
To each, his/her own.. Maybe you two are not compatible..
I completely agree with this from a submissive's point of view. I was trained for one year by a Dominant who focused mainly on His ideals and His beliefs of what a sub should be, but I never really broke down the barriers into who I am as a submissive in all that time. I am absolutely blessed now to serve a Master who knows my every thought before I do and understands how my mind works in ways no one ever has. He anticipates my reactions and uses them to help me learn more and more every day. Any and everything He does has a purpose, and He does not tell me until after the completion of the task/exercise what that purpose was. It is how a Master gauges his submissive/slave's reactions and level of understanding. If He is truly meant for you and you are truly meant to belong to Him, then all of those things will click into place. He will have all of your needs well in hand, physical, emotional and everything that lies between. But you must never forget He is in control always, and you have to trust Him implicitly and never question His commands. They ALWAYS have a purpose.Quote:
I believe that submissives need to be pleasured in whatever ways they have dreamt about since first touching themselves in order to fully, completely, and totally submit to me, without holding back.. That is what I want, anyway.. The look in her eyes when you know she would do absolutely anything I ask without question..
I realize that all of the things I am saying are based on my experiences and that I am fortunate enough to be owned by a Master who holds all of the ideals I mentioned above. It is my very strong belief that if you can't trust your Sir/Master enough to completely and totally put yourself in their hands, you will never fully recognize your potential as a submissve. It is His place to help you set and achieve your goals, but it is also a journey for you B/both. He is learning about you as well, so the communication is key for it to work.
If this is a long distance partnership, Do you keep a journal for him or blog? Master has me write in a journal daily and send him the scanned documents (I prefer to write by hand rather than type as I am old fashioned that way! :P ) This allows Him unfiltered insight into my thoughts and concerns, all my questions and how I feel. This deepens the bond between Master and I and ensures I really can hold nothing back from Him. (as if I would try!)
I truly hope all my rambling made some sense! I am always open to improvement and appreciate any comments or suggestions. That is, after all, the only way to truly learn! If you ever want to talk, corinya, though I know your last post was several months ago, please feel free to PM me anytime. I would love to hear how things are going for you these days.
Peace!
~Master's muse~
Good question. Here is another question. Should your
the person dominating you train you? Let me tell you my
experiences . Maybe I was lucky.
My Mistress told me nothing. She wanted her girl; to
know how she had to behave. She felt she did not have
to train me.
Of course. In the beginning I made mistakes. And then
she would be upset. She would punish me. That is how I
learned. But there was more.
I was reading. I was reading about the relation between
a dominant and a submissive. I understand how I had to
behave. How to please my mistress.
And then. Often we went to the club. There I met other
submissive girls. I was talking with them. After I
asked their mistresses for permission.
Let me give you one thing that I leaned. There is much
more a submissive has to do so that she is behaving in
a proper way.
But here is one example. It has got to do with talking.
I cannot start talking. As my Mistress was around. I
was always silent.
I showed her my happy face. I showed her how glad I was
for seeing her. But I did not speak. Mistress speaks
first.
Maybe she wants to know something from me. If she does,
she will ask me a question. And I give her an answer. A
respectful answer.
Thank you for this suggestion, it's a very good idea.Quote:
Originally Posted by Ownedfyre (mm1)